Tuesday, July 27, 2004

FAFBLOG is a blog, a radical new Medium of the People which destroys all barriers between word and action, thought and deed. Will it use its power for Journalism, or for Evil?

WOLF BLITZER is a mortal creature of the old media, the M.S.M., a prisoner of flesh and blood. He can only gaze longingly upon the glorious electric ascendancy of the blogosphere from the outside.


WOLF BLITZER: So, Fafnir and Giblets, what IS a blog?
FAFNIR: Blogs are the future Wolf.
GIBLETS: Yes! They are MADE of the future! We extract the future's pure temporal essence an squeeze it into cables an modems an T3 lines it becomes a blog!
FAF: A blog... of the future.
WB: How much thought goes into your "web blog" "posts"?
FAF: Oh we do not think at all when we post! That would defeat the entire purpose!
GIBS: Blogs must be spontaneous instant reactions to the lightning events of the everyday! Giblets fires up a random news article, pounds his head against the keyboard several times, an hits the "publish" button for the purest of pure blog posts!
FAF: Otherwise you are not truly flowin in the electric consciousness Wolf.
WB: Do you think blogs are transforming the discourse in America, and if so how so?
FAF: Oh they definitely are Wolf. There is not much that can resist our transformin internet power.
GIBS: We are MADE of the internet. We course with its febrile energy!
FAF: An we will make the discourse faster because blogs are faster. When someone starts talkin bout somethin that just happened five minutes ago someone else will say "oh I already heard about that yesterday, borin" an they will drop it cuz it's borin.
GIBS: When someone starts talkin bout somethin else they will change subject not in the middle of the sentence, but before the other sentence was actually spoken.
FAF: It will be just that fast.
WB: Fascinating. Now, blogs just don't do the kind of rigorous fact-checking and editorial work that we do here in the mainstream media...
FAF: That's very true. Not like you have at CNN or MSNBC or Fox!
GIBS: Some days we sit around thinkin "Oh man if only we could maintain the journalistic rigor of Robert Novak or Charles Krauthammer or Brit Hume!"
FAF: Or Judith Miller or Chris Matthews or CNN's Bill Schneider!
GIBS: But then we would lose our cuttin-edge appeal Wolf Blitzer. Our cuttin-edge appeal.
WB: But given that bloggers might be biased, or play "fast and loose with the truth," and given the increased importance of blogs today, should Americans be concerned?
FAF: Yes they should be very concerned. We are an unchained force of nature Wolf Blitzer! You cannot stop us once we spin out of telecommunicontrol!
GIBS: Bow before the power of blog Wolf Blitzer! Bow before the power of blog NOOOOOOW!
WB: But that means the mainstream media would be defenseless before an onslaught of raw unfiltered opinion and skewed news!
FAF: It could lead to... a blogpocalypse.
GIBS: A rain of electronic fire and doom upon all mankind!
FAF: And the mainstream legacy mediaverse would be helpless to stop it!
GIBS: Heeeeellllpleeeessss! BOWBEFOREGIBLETS!
WB: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [explodes]
FAF: His fusty analog consciousness could not cope with the intensity of our instantaneous instantosity!
GIBS: The media is dead! Long live the media!
FAF: Liberté, égalité, superfluté! TO VICTORY!
[there follows the violent overthrow of everything]

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posted by fafnir at 5:39 PM




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