"We ARE our leaders," says me on the alien spaceship. "Klaatu barada nikto!"
"It's true!" says Giblets. "Fafnir and Giblets blaze the trails that petty men must follow!"
"How fortunate to have found you on the first try!" says the aliens.
"We present you with this ceremonial offerin of Earth delicacies," says me.
"Behold the half-eaten danish an the styrofoam coffee cup!" says Giblets.
"This is quite strange and inedible," says the aliens.
"That's cause you're eatin it wrong," says me. "You're supposed to eat the crunchy white part first an the sugary caffeinated sludge second."
"They are befouling our rites!" says Giblets. "They are trampling upon our ancient rituals!"
"We meant no offense to you or your potentate," says the aliens. "Please forgive us."
"Well I dunno," says me. "We are a very sensitive people."
"Throw them to the lavabeasts!" says Giblets. "Make them Pass the Test!"
"We beg your understanding! We come in peace!" says the aliens.
"Your apology is accepted," says Giblets.
"We present you with this gift of a wacky wall-walker, Earth's most sacred creature," says me.
"Beware - it walks down walls!" says Giblets.
"We shall treasure it always," says the aliens. "But please - tell us of this Test."
"The initiates are divided into two teams of five players each," says me. "One team is called 'shirts' on accounta they wear shirts an the other is called 'skins' on accounta they wear the skins a their defeated opponents."
"They fight for possession of a ball with vast ceremonial significance," says Giblets. "Axes and firearms are barred by regulation."
"An then we release the dragons," says me.
"The winning team devours the guts of the losing team and adds their
chi to its own," says Giblets, "after four rounds of tournament play."
"Your culture seems so advanced yet so barbaric," says the aliens.
"We're fulla paradoxes an complexities," says me. "Behold as we give life to this inanimate slinky!"
"And take it away again before it can fully traverse the stairs!" says Giblets.
"There is so much we could learn from you," says the aliens. "Allow us to meet the rest of your people."
"I dunno if you're ready to meet us," says me.
"We are far too advanced for your comprehension," says Giblets. "Our mysteries and enigmas would explode your tiny minds!"
"Perhaps some day in the future, when our own culture has sufficiently advanced to understand yours," says the aliens.
"It's a difficult journey to cosmic enlightenment an stuff," says me. "Just keep on chuggin there."
"Farewell mortal beings!" says Giblets. "Keep watching the skies!"
We leave em at the house with the others an take off in the ship on our never-endin mission a cosmic awareness.
Labels: true adventures
