Saturday, April 1, 2006

The Medium Lobster is a higher being from beyond the boundaries of space and time. From his perch atop ethereal dimensions whose heights defy mortal comprehension, all of reality as you know it is laid out before him like so many ants at a summer picnic. To your limited perception, he appears to be an ordinary lobster, neither especially large nor particularly small. To your limited perception.

If you are very fortunate, you may have glimpsed the Lobster yourself, in dreams and oracular trances and visionary bursts of cable punditry, whispering secrets of the realm invisible, where truth is beauty, war is peace, and cuts in the capital gains tax bring much-needed relief to working families bogged down by labor and environmental regulation. When this enlightenment is offered, accept it without question; the Lobster could fully explain such mysteries, but their awe and majesty would explode your tiny brain.

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posted by The Blog at 12:20 AM




16 Comments:
Yes, but do you appear as a green, medium-sized lobster? Or as a red, medium-sized lobster? Or as a green lobster with red lasers? Or as a red lobster with blue lasers?
>Yes, but do you appear as a green, medium-sized lobster? Or as a red, medium-sized lobster? Or as a green lobster with red lasers? Or as a red lobster with blue lasers?

I dreamed he was iridescent red an green an he had frickin' laser beams comin' outta his head. And he smelled like a fish tank.
by Anonymous Nile, at April 01, 2008 5:37 PM
Clearly we're talkin' "medium" as in transcendentalist, attuned to higher powers and able to read the indications blowin by on the breezes of infinite potential and some junk, neh? Or maybe, between tiny and huge...
Medium: lobster weighing 570 to 680 grams (1.25 to1.5 pounds)


In the other sense of the word "medium", apparently the ML comes to Alike Walker in female form:

On any given day we, collectively, become the Goddess of the Three Directions and can look back into the past, look at ourselves just where we are, and take a glance, as well, into the future.

http://tinyurl.com/2k4atu
Medium Lobster! There is no lobster but He - the Living, The Self-subsisting, the Eternal. No slumber can seize Him Nor Sleep. His are all things In the heavens and on earth and under the oceans. Who is there that can intercede In His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth What (appeareth to All as) Before or After or Behind them. Nor shall they compass Aught of His knowledge Except as He willeth. His throne doth extend Over the heavens and the earth, and He feeleth No fatigue in guarding and preserving them, For He is the Most High, The Supreme (in glory).

He is Medium Lobster, the One and Only.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at April 02, 2008 10:03 AM
No no! You got it all wrong. There is but one God, Pie is His name, Medium Lobster is His prophet and Fafblog is His holy writ.

Interesting, the captcha like thing says 'cthsrhl'. I wonder what it means? Is this a vague reference to Cthulhu? Will hordes of monstrous lobster-like octopi rise from the churning depths of time and milkshake to feast upon our ever darkening souls as we scream and cling to our material support as our horrid fate engulfs us? Only time will tell.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at April 17, 2008 8:50 PM
Was it you I had in Boston?
I believe you have forgotten about his noodliness FSM.
Man...even on Fafblog. Is nothing sacred?

it doesn't matter what blog you go to. There's always one of those sohbet spam porn links. (see hattie at 3:50 pm)
by Anonymous locust, at October 18, 2008 6:14 PM
Will hordes of monstrous lobster-like octopi rise from the churning depths of time and milkshake to feast upon our ever darkening souls as we scream and cling to our material support as our horrid fate engulfs us? Only time will tell.
Medium Who? MIA lobster. Probably released from da tank by liberals or cost-cutting rebublicabastarders with butter sauce.
No no! You got it all wrong. There is but one God, Pie is His name, Medium Lobster is His prophet and Fafblog is His holy writ.

Oh, you're right anonymous, I had it all wrong.

Oh, and red, I'm stealing the name of one of your sites in that link list. No need for spammers to have monopolies over interesting trademarks.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at February 13, 2009 10:05 PM
By the nameless things which crawl upon the ocean bottom leaving a trail of slimy delicious food for bacteria, STOP SPAMMING! I don't even have the fonts for your character sets!

ps, the captcha says 'mulate'
by Anonymous Anonymous, at March 02, 2009 10:03 PM
Whom seek ye? It is I (I am he), Mr. Octopus:
I read a funny little thing, some utterances written by a whomever lobster so filled with cockiness. Too much rhetorical blablabla and sounding cleverness and yet... just on the surface.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at March 06, 2009 6:22 PM
I acknowledge the power of the Medium Lobster. I'm not sure what to say or do that will Ward off the Wrath. Mr. Cleaver knew, for obvious reasons, but he's dead -- and like the Pharaohs of old, forced June and Wally into the Ra boat for the journey to the West. So we can't ask him. This is sad.

All hail the Medium Lobster! (Is the Medium Lobster Kosher, by the way?)
I dreamed he was iridescent red an green an he had frickin' laser beams comin' outta his head. And he smelled like a fish tank.

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