Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Giblets is lookin angry an there is so much to do.
"Giblets is angry!" says Giblets. "Giblets is angry because nobody understands Giblets an his vast Gibletsian needs! Giblets is people too!"
"Giblets we are sposed to be workin on the Super Top Secret Special Project What Is Really Secret An Special with the Medium Lobster," says me.
"Giblets cares not for the Super Top Secret Special Project What Is Really Secret An Special!" says Giblets. "Giblets is only interested in Giblets-related Giblets activites that properly fulfill his Gibletshood! An if people here do not understand that then GIBLETS IS RUNNIN AWAY!"
"Yes Giblets is runnin away," says Giblets, "to find some public square for Giblets, where Gibletses can interact, debate an share information on a wide variety of Gibletsian issues. To provide a voice for mainstream Giblets an articulate the deeply held ideals of a free and virtuous Giblets."
"Giblets you are bein a crazy Giblets an you should stay here while I take care a the teapot an come back to talk you outta your craziness," says me.
"You will only have until I finish eatin this raw tuna," says Giblets. "These twenty-eight cans of raw tuna."
So I am runnin up the stairs to the teapot when out of the wall comes Santa!
"Oh no Santa what are you doin here!" says me. "It is not Christmastime yet!"
"It's Christmas in July!" says Santa lickin his sharp metal pointy Santa teeth. "And I've come to devour good little Fafnirs! Have you been a good little Fafnir this year?"
"But I will let you live if you can answer the dark and insoluble mystery of Santa's Riddle!" says Santa.
"Okay Santa I am not very good at riddles but I will try!" says Fafnir.
"Alright, lessee here..." says Santa. "Which one was it... was it the one about the moose and the three monkeys, or the one with the fox and the chickn and the river, or the one with the..."
"Santa I gotta go cause I gotta talk Giblets outta runnin away an the teapot is boilin an if somethin doesnt happen soon it could wreck the burner," says me.
"Or the rhyming one about Time, or the one about pocketses..."
So I run into the kitchen but who is waitin for me but our evil alternate negaverse twins Fut's-Lung an Mutton!
"Evil alternate negapeople what are you doin here!" says me.
"Ho ho ho Fafnir!" says Fut's-Lung "It is too late by now we have done all kindsa evil things! An we dont feel like tellin you what they are."
"Roam free before Mutton!" says Mutton. "Roam free before Mutton NOOOOOOOW!"
"Are they secret evil things I will never discover ever?" says me.
"Well for a start you know your Piñata Of Peace?" says Fut's-Lung.
"Yes my piñata that I filled with peace so when folks break it open they go 'oh we will now eat delicious candy' an then peace comes out an everybody associates peace with the delicious goodness of candy so everyone will love peace?" says me.
"Yes that Piñata Of Peace," says Fut's-Lung.
"I like it it is a very beautiful piñata," says me.
"Well we filled it with WAR!" says Fut's-Lung.
"Make freedom for Mutton!" says Mutton. "Repeal tarrifs."
"Fut's-Lung and Mutton you are evil and alternate and wrong!" says me.
"An we did more than that!" says Fut's-Lung. "We have replaced half of all the furniture an appliances in your house with evil robots which look just like furniture!"
"Since our universe is the opposite of yours all our furniture is made of evil robots," says Fut's-Lung. "Because none of the furniture in your universe is made of them."
"That makes a lot of sense," says me. "What do you use instead of evil robots?"
"Barcaloungers," says Mutton.
"How good are they?" says me.
"Eh," says Fut's-Lung.
"Fut's-Lung an Mutton I would love to stay an chat about your evil but Santa's tryin to eat me an Giblets is tryin to run away an the teapot is boilin an I really gotta take care of some things first," says me.
An then Chris shows up an he is NOT EATIN CHICKEN.
Is furniture really more effective than robots? Will there ever be a proper forum for Giblets an the Giblets-minded majority to gather an share Gibletsian viewpoints? Is Chris a vegetarian now or what? Tune into Fafblog after a break of several days time to find out!
posted by fafnir at 11:24 PM