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Monday, April 12, 2004
So things are goin bad in Iraq. Now I was against the war from the beginning and as someone who got it right and realized that the war was going to be bad and ugly and bad, I have come to the conclusion that we have no choice but to withdraw all our stuff from Iraq.
"But Fafnir" you say, "doesn't that mean the Terrorists Win." No because I am terribly clever. When we withdraw from Iraq we won't just take our guns and tanks and soldiers, we will also take our Iraqis with us! That way the terrorists cannot take over Iraq because there will be no Iraqis to take over. If Iraq is so screwed up that we cant fix it, why isnt it so screwed up that Iraqis shouldnt have to live in it? I say pull Iraq out of Iraq. It is time for it to come home. "But where are we going to put twenty two million Iraqis Faf" you say. "That's like a lot of Iraqis." Well that's the best part! We move them to the Moon! Who wouldn't want to live on the Moon? I mean come on! It's the moon! It's so much better than Iraq! There's plenty of room, and being on the moon is like bein in the future. If you own a goat it becomes a moon-goat. When you put out a fatwa you are putting out a moon-fatwa. This alone would make Ayatollah Sistani's job ten times as fun! I mean I'd move to the Moon if it wasn't gonna be full of Iraqis! This will make our country stronger strategically while accomplishing the also strong goal of putting awesome stuff on the Moon. No one is saying this will be cheap. But nobody likes war. And everybody loves the Moon! Eventually we could withdraw all our problem countries to the Moon. Come on Iran! How much cooler would it be to be Iran... on the Moon? Israel we might have to move to Mars but that's okay, Mars is even cooler, it has water and that face thing and robot mummies! Some will say I am being prejudiced towards Israel here but that is not true, there are enough planetoids to go around to move all our trouble spots.
posted by fafnir at 8:42 PM
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