Tuesday, March 2, 2004
This is part of an incredible ongoing series of around the world TRAVELBLOGGING! It's like blogging only with travel attached. What new words can you make while blogging? Try this on your own! Answers are at the bottom. Previous foreign lands have included Canada, Israel, Iraq, Europe, the Moon, the office building, and the mall.
Televison is a mysterious and magical place. I am sitting behind a desk. I have a desk at home but this is much better and shinier - it is a television desk! It is an expert desk! It says "Fafnir is smart and important! Listen up, universe!" I also have a name that magically appears under my face whenever I am shown along with my profession. FAFNIR: FAFNIR. My profession is also Fafnir.
There are other people here - the native inhabitants of television. They are big and loud and puffy and also sit at special television desks like mine, only they have television desks all the time so they're even more special than I am because this isn't my real desk, my real desk is just a plain ol boring ol desk, not a television desk. When I enter a room I do not have exciting theme music and flag color graphics. Everyone gets flag color graphics on television!
We are on and we are arguing, which is what we do on television! "You are stupid and evil and wrong!" says Television Person Opposed To Other Television Person. "No you are stupid and evil and wrong!" says Other Television Person Opposed To Previous Television Person. The host is on here to resolve the dispute. "Stupid!" he says. "Stupid stupid. Evil, evil wrong! Stupid evil, wrong wrong wrong!" The host is on television more than any of us, and is therefore the most real.
Now I am arguing with a man shaped like a wrinkled egg!
"But if we just eat cows all the cows will run away."
"You just want to eat trucks! You're a slave to the Big Truck lobby!"
"All I am saying is why can't people and balloons get along. There is no need for this unilateral anti-balloon aggression."
"National security! National security! What will you do when a balloon causes another 9-11! National security!"
"I believe the humans and the glofish can live in peace."
The host says "Thirty seconds left! Fafnir, final word!" And I have the final word!
"People think things are going down but I think things are going up or better yet sideways, and that's good, because when they go sideways they can go off to the left, which is where the sandwich store is, which is giving out tiny miniaturized bears. Look at all those tiny miniaturized bears. Can't you feel the love America? Can't you feel the love?"
Then we go to Commercial, and now we are a coolrefrshing mountain stream selling a rugged SUV and we are an exploding can of tasty cola and its cartoon mascot and we are a tough yet trustworthy old businessman giving advice on mutual funds and we are so much more! There are so many things on to see and do and be on television! I wish I had more time but there is never enough time on tv.
(-blogging answers: moonblogging, orthoblogging, shoeblogging, Catholoblogging, monsterblogging, explodoblogging, conquistoblogging, Goetterdammerblogging)
posted by fafnir at 9:44 AM