Thursday, March 25, 2010
"You know what day it is today?" says me.
"It's the Feast of the Martyrdom of Saint Willig, patron saint of haberdashers and turnips," says Giblets.
"It's our blog's very own birthday!" says me. "Seven years of uninterrupted journalistic excellence!"
"No, no, I'm pretty sure it's just Saint Willig," says Giblets flippin through a liturgical calendar. "Martyred on this day in 1309 while choking on a turnip."
"The first thing I'd like to say about our blog is that it has the very best readers," says me. "They might not be the kindest readers or the smartest readers or the happiest or the most articulate or the best-smelling readers but they are our readers, and that says something, probably, about something!"
"We don't have any readers," says Giblets. "No one reads the blog. Even you don't read the blog."
"Sure I do," says me. "Why just the other day I read that thing... about the guy, who's mad about the stuff."
"Giblets is going home," says Giblets.
"It's all part of the rich tapestry of our history," says me.
"Giblets is going home to work on his novel," says Giblets. "It is called This Is Stupid and Boring and Stupid and Shut Up."
"What will the next seven years bring!" says me.
"It is about a young man coming of age in small town America and being eaten by robot bears," says Giblets.
Labels: blog ogg gog
posted by fafnir at 1:09 PM
Happy birthday to Fafnir and Giblets! I assume the Medium Lobster has no birthday, as he resides outside of space and time, or whatever.
Love the blog, even if I almost never comment.
happy blog day!
can i pre-order a copy of Gibletses novel? (alls i have right now is the lint in my pocket, but i could deposit it to my paypal account i think.)
Giblets's novel will cost five thousand dollars in hardcover. There will be no paperback! Order now!
To be fair, that thing about the guy who's mad about the stuff is almost as good as the legend of Benjamin Healy. Keep up the good work, lads and lobster.
I'll buy "This Is Stupid and Boring and Stupid and Shut Up" but I'd rather just have the current masthead on a shirt and wear it everywhere and complain to everyone that they are stupid and should read fafblog now.
I'd just like to remind Giblet's six billion readers that the song "Happy Birthday" is still in copyright, with all that that implies.
Happy Birthday to Fafblog, Fafblog! We like to read your Fafblog as often as you post and we miss pies but still visit often for our nine outta ten days of disappointment because there's not more Fafblog. But that tenth day? Mmmm-MMMM! More Fafblog, please!
Giblets is a lovable, colorful character, but he is not always accurate. For example, the claim that "No one reads the [Faf]blog" is clearly untrue. Similarly, the reference to Saint Willig is questionable - at least, I don't find him listed in the reference material available to me. The most important saintly observance for today is the Annunciation, marking Mary's agreement with the Holy Spirit's plan to be the Mother of God. Other saints whose festivities are observed on this day include:
St. Kennocha, Virgin
(also known as Kyle, Enoch)
Died 1007. Saint Kennocha was a Scottish nun of the convent in Fife. Formerly she was held in great veneration in Scotland, especially in the district around Glasgow. Said to have been the only daughter of a wealthy family, she rejected the attraction of worldly goods and all suitors in order to pursue a life of prayer. By an extraordinary love of poverty and mortification, a wonderful gift of prayer, and purity or singleness of heart, she attained to the perfection of all virtues. She became famous because of several miracles God wrought on her behalf (Benedictines, Husenbeth).
St. Alfwold of Sherborne, Bishop
Died c. 1058; also March 26. Saint Alfwold, a monk of Winchester, was chosen to be bishop of Sherborne in 1045. He was known for his great devotion to Saints Cuthbert and Swithun, whose cults he propagated. He set up Swithun's image in his church and often visited Cuthbert's shrine. William of Malmesbury recorded the reminiscences of a priest from his diocese who knew Bishop Alfwold. Unlike most members of the episcopacy, he used only common wood eating utensils and was known for his habitual abstinence at a time when self-indulgence was the rule. He quarrelled at least once with Earl Godwin of Wessex, who was suddenly stricken ill and recovered only after the saint pardoned him (Attwater2, Benedictines, Farmer, Gill).
Happy Blogday, Fafblog!
I know not what the next seven years may bring of marvel or surprise. Fortunately, we only have to take it one day at a time.
It seems likely that Fafblog! will remain among the bloggest, if not the noirest, of all blog noirs .
Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.
It is about a young man coming of age in small town America and being eaten by robot bears.
Prepare to be sued by Jonathan Safran Foer.
"This Is Stupid and Boring and Stupid and Shut Up"! YES! This work is the quintessence of Our Modern Age! Forget hardcover, sell it as an iPad Exclusive! I humbly predict it will save journalism and whales and advertising and Haiti and literary fiction!
Also, Happy Birthday! As I always say,
"O to be cultist of St. Cuthbert at a time when self-indulgence was the rule!"
robot bears are easily eaten by a new Discovery Channel temptress...
chew em up and spit out the bolts!
Happy Birthday Fafnir...
your loyal fan
Faf, is it Easter? I don't pay much attention to these days that move around.
However, if it is Fafday, well way howdy! That is a holiday to attend to:
For started, touted to Daily Kos here:
And, meanwhile, the Faf Birthday Present (which will comprise money because you et al totally, totally rock) is in the works.
I think $100 would be right, for now.
I'll email you when I can send it
Now, let's all get back to how much we LOVE those who LOVE those who LOVE
With couple of years of rest, I'd say you are on your fifth birthday. Congrats never the less and you get to have the seventh birthday twice.
You'll be pleasantly surprised to find that I am the best-smelling commenter, with a delightful aroma that turns heads wherever I go. The base is a light hickory-smoked bacon, with notes of maple syrup and cashews. So things are even better than you thought. As we say in my family, 'Happy birthday yesterday.'
Well I was gonna buy 7 copies of the hardcover book. But reading "No one reads the blog," caused a discombulation in the metaphysical space-time continuum and now I'm evapo...
I have a dead arab in a sack that I would like to present to the blog on this occasion....He smells a bit, but he has a heart of nom, nom, nom.
Actually today is Prince Kuhio Day.
Prince Kūhiō Day is an official holiday in the state of Hawaiʻi in the United States. It is celebrated annually on March 26, to mark the birth of Prince Jonah Kūhiō Kalanianaʻole — heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Hawaiʻi, prince of the House of Kalākaua, and later territorial delegate to the United States Congress. It is one of only two holidays in the United States dedicated to royalty, the other being Hawaiʻi's King Kamehameha Day June 11.
"It is called This Is Stupid and Boring and Stupid and Shut Up."
Also describes the entire Don Delillo oeuvre.
St. Willig would have pre-pardoned the robot bears, just in case the church's statutes of limitations failed to run out fast enough.
Until that young man comes of age, though, he should avoid priests. Especially priests bearing turnips.
Happy birthday, all!
Hey happy blogday to you guys and to the guy who lifts you up soze you can reach the keyboard ... Still the best and only Fafblog in the known universe.
Saints be praised and Pope what's his name too. While sainthood will likely elude our journalistic heroes due to their bias against most known realities never fear for our boys will prosper and at the rate things are going could end up as pope, president and drain commissioner of Toledo in 7 years and won't that be fun?
You may not have the best readers
You certainly have the best writers.
Birthday pie blogging for Fafblog