Thursday, January 1, 2009

It should come as no surprise that this blog has been nominated for a Pretend Internet Award® in recognition of its tireless devotion to journalistic excellence, largely coherent grammar and qualified relationship to linear time. Our writers are even now being flown in a private jet to the awards ceremony along with such fellow luminaries as Andrew Sullivan, BritneyBlog and several recycled LOLcats.

Never fear, though: success will not change Fafblog. Should we be awarded this highly prestigious distinction, the same team of hard-working bloggers will return the following month to bring you cutting-edge commentary on the '98 midterms; if not, we should be back by August at the very latest.


posted by the Medium Lobster at 9:49 PM

This is still my favorite blog. Such creativity, astute observations, and hilarity. As long as there's hope for another post someday, I'll be here.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at January 01, 2009 11:08 PM
It might come as a surprise that I have gone blind looking for Fafblog on that list which just as well have listed everyone in the world, and come to think of it maybe they did but then I went blind. Congrats and if I see you at the beach in August, well if my seeing eye dog does, wear your blue ribbon or you might get eaten.
by Anonymous rapier, at January 01, 2009 11:13 PM
What could be better than a Pretend Internet Award? I can't imagine a blog whose pretensions more richly merit such an award! Hurray for Fafblog!
What could be better than a Pretend Internet Award?

Pie. And more pie. Life is and will always be about pie.
by Anonymous locust, at January 02, 2009 1:03 AM
Oh, you say success won't change you, but we already know better. You used about the music, man!

No, wait - that was Ban Ki-moon. Sorry.

Carry on.
by Anonymous tarj, at January 02, 2009 3:50 AM
The Faf will always be the Faf to me!
Best large blog? Go easy on the pie for a while, Fafnir.
by Anonymous tzuzie, at January 02, 2009 11:09 AM
What you mean? Blog's got a whale innit. And conversely.
The Medium Lobster posted something? What is this, 1998, or is it some sort of pale retro-echo of 2009?
by Anonymous laserda, at January 02, 2009 2:37 PM
Who boasts the largest blog?

Where's the category for
Best-ever Blog for Blogging!

What the hell kinda pretend internet award show is this?
by Anonymous Anonymous, at January 02, 2009 3:08 PM
I'll vote for Fafblog!; it'll be the only vote I cast since I don't see Lenin's Tomb or anything about Arthur Silber there.

I used to have a good enough sense of humor to let stuff like this slide, but now it's down to inappropriate, unwelcome questions such as this: Who decides on this crap, and if I cast a vote--even much-deserved vote--am I complicit, am I part of the problem?
by Anonymous Anonymous, at January 02, 2009 4:37 PM
Please accept my pretend congratulations for your pretend award.
I am curious: how do you feel about the current devaluation of the Medium Lobster?
Lobster Pie?
Pie, Lobster, pie.
You know, the Pretend Internet Award® comes with a handsome stipend.

€230.32, to be exact.

What shall you spend it on?

(and, please -'pie' would be reductive)
Fafnir, Medium Lobster and Giblets don't need no stinking stipend. Why I just hit the PayPal donate button to donate a million dollars and it was refused.
by Anonymous Bernie Madoff, at January 03, 2009 3:38 PM
Who decides on this crap, and if I cast a vote--even much-deserved vote--am I complicit, am I part of the problem?

January 02, 2009 4:37 PM
No need to fret, anonymous.

Your vote will not be counted.
If you win will ex senator whinny ass Coleman demand that a bunch of imaginary absent-minded votes be counted that ALL are for him, him, him and him alone?
Did I vote or didn't I???
by Anonymous Pretend voter, at January 04, 2009 7:45 PM
How may recycled LOLcats best be distinguished from novel, original, unprecedented, or (as who should say) virgin LOLcats? (To our limited intelligence, after all, the Medium Lobster appears first and foremost as a highly efficient scavenger and might as such be expected to have some impressive criteria for freshness.)
Well done, Medium Lobster!
(Finally clicking on link.) My god. You were serious!

Sincere congratulations, F & M.L., and keep up the great work. :-)

Yeah you guys don't get my pretend vote because you only pretend to post. Then my heart pretends to break. Then I come back for more. It's one big Tammy Wynette Pie. Aw hell I'll vote for you just this once.
i'll vote a million times when i get an RSS feed. A MILLION I SAY.
You Bastards!

I checked this god damned site for Months. For YEARS. Nuthin'. So I wandered off in a funk.

And Now I see You are Back.

Well screw You.

I'll be watching.

Sweet Jebus I'm glad You're back.
Everyone please be aware that you can vote every 24 hours! Do so! Fafblog must win!
by Anonymous stufftheballotbox, at January 12, 2009 9:59 PM
What Fafblog should really get is the Phoenix award for dying, letting the flesh rot off, leaving only a stately whitened skeleton, and then suddenly what crawls out from under that rock? Why it is another post! And another and another! Slowly they are repopulating the world. Soon they may even get off the endangered species list as long as those environmentalist do not allow those right wing nut jobs to drill oil there..
Congrats on your win Fafnir, Giblets and The Medium Lobster!

We love ya, truly... but "tireless"?

Oh, ho ho ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hee hee hee. Yer killin' me here
Now that's the best durn satire I've seen yet on dis here blog!

Serially, tho': MORE!

by Anonymous Martians are the nicest people, at January 14, 2009 12:12 AM
Literary hell is empty and all the drivel is here.

I superfantasmolifically second the motion for an RSS feed.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at January 15, 2009 2:52 PM
Large? Large?

This is a freaking outrage. What a bunch of crap!

Fafblog is, and has always been, a Medium blog. Just big enough to hold a couple gorillas and a portmanteau filled with cigars and cheese, maybe... and an end table, with a lamp on it, and a hot plate for making grilled cheese sandwiches!

If I were Fafblog I would sue somebody.
speak! cunwood! (that's the answer to the word verification requisty thing. I likes it right much. Cunwood.)
by Anonymous Anonymous, at January 15, 2009 10:14 PM

that's the important part.

by Anonymous Anonymous, at January 15, 2009 10:16 PM
I like the spam. Nice touch.
by Anonymous locust, at January 20, 2009 1:04 AM
A "Medium Lobster"! Why didn't I think of that. It's the moderation of it which is so appealing. It's not like your the "Big Lobster" or "King Lobster". No, just a "Medium Lobster", your average crustacean. I like it.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at January 20, 2009 3:01 PM
And what about the Get-Wild Smartskin Design Patent which was stolen from the Panda? What about that?
by Anonymous Anonymous, at January 20, 2009 3:03 PM
I went to vote for Fafblog, but apparently it is no longer 2008, and as a result they are not taking any additional votes.

It is obvious that these awards are rigged. Against me.


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