Monday, March 14, 2005
So a hundred years from now me an Giblets are talkin bout Dan Rather.
"Who's Dan Rather?" says Giblets.
"He was that guy on the TV," says me. "Yknow that reporter they let read the news."
"Giblets rejects your fantastic tale!" says Giblets. "Why would we need a reporter to read the news when we have the sonorous efficacy of the newsmobots!"
"I like the newsmobots," says me, "but I can't pick between the gentle lull of the Brokawbot and the knowing wink of the Jenningsoid."
"Your antiquated network news droids pale before the might of the cable babblebots!" says Giblets. "Where else can Giblets watch Bad Bill Factor battle Savage Matthews for the right to fight Mad Lord Hannity to the death in the heart of Pundidome!"
"Now that's journalism," I says. "It tells a simple yet compelling story that relates to me."
"Stories like what's happening to Michael Jackson? What's Michael Jackson doing today? How does the CIA's illegal kidnapping and torture of foreign nationals affect Michael Jackson?" says Giblets.
"Dan Rather did a story about torture way back in the day," says me.
"I remember that one," says Giblets. "It was like, 'Hey everybody torture is great, you should try it'."
"He also did that thing on that dead Kennedy guy," says me.
"Oh yeah!" says Giblets. "He was that guy from the Dead Kennedys!"
"Sometimes I miss the ol days," says me. "Back when news was new an reporters reported an everybody hadn't got eaten by the Monstrolords."
"Our democratically-elected Monstrolords," says Giblets. "And I'm sure they had a very good reason for it."
"A good reason that we'll get to watch tonight on the news," says me.
Labels: amused to death
posted by fafnir at 8:16 AM