Monday, March 7, 2005
Blogging is coming to the White House! As of today a blogger has been credentialed to cover the White House briefing room, and so have me an Giblets! Here we are at a press gaggle this afternoon. The blogging revolution has arrived!
GIBLETS: Scott, last week liberal professor Dr. Martin Van Sequitur at the University of Montana at Kerplunk said, “I think we should make it legal to eat babies. They are plump and succulent and quite lovely when marinated in a light wine sauce.” Why has no one on the Left denounced this baby-eating leftist icon! Are liberals pro-baby eating?
MCLELLAN: That’s an excellent question, Giblets, and let me respond by saying that the president has been on the record as opposing baby-eating since his second term as governor of Texas and that this kind of tragedy isn’t going to end until we reform Social Security into a system that encourages growth, promise, and ownership.
FAFNIR: Scott I would like to say first of all that I am astonished at the actions of Professor Van Sequitur an I denounce them completely an he should be fired an stuff. But how come Giblets is denouncin baby-eatin now when people on the right like Sean Hannity an Trent Lott endorsed baby-eatin?
MCLELLAN: The president welcomes any and all support in his efforts to fix Social Security for a future that needs growth, promise, and ownership.
GIBLETS: Scott, it has been three minutes since Giblets called on the Left to denounce Martin Van Sequitur en masse and only one liberal has denounced him at all and that was just Fafnir who doesn’t even count! Why hasn’t Giblets heard from Helen Thomas on the burgeoning Van Sequitur scandal?
MCLELLAN: Again, this just demonstrates the difficulty the president has had working with congressional Democrats on this issue. The president wants to move forward so the American people can retire with a system that encourages growth, promise, and ownership.
FAFNIR: Scott, I got a previous press gaggle transcript here where Giblets says “Mmmm, these babies are delicious! Bring more to Giblets, he shall feast upon their tasty flesh!” So how come eating babies is bad when liberals do it an good when Giblets does it?
MCLELLAN: That issue was settled in the campaign. The president wants to move beyond the past and work with Democrats to encourage growth, promise, and ownership in Social Security.
GIBLETS: Scott, Giblets has been viciously smeared by Fafnir! That quote was taken out of context to imply that Giblets was eating babies when he was only eating cow babies in the form of veal, which is delicious and American! Why must the left always engage in this electronic character assassination!
FAFNIR: Cows are people too! It’s just this kinda anti-cow prejudice that’s lead to America’s deteriorating alliance with the cows. Scott when will the president stop avoidin the cow ambassador? Is he ever gonna reschedule his meetin with the cow king?
MCLELLAN: Cows are America’s closest ally, Fafnir, and if you look at Iraq you’ll see that there are over a million of America’s cow allies in Iraq right now working with American troops to help Social Security encourage growth, promise, and ownership.
GIBLETS: Again with the cows! Fafnir is always looking for a cow permission slip before America defends itself. Well Giblets wants to know what Fafnir’s cows are planning to do about the epidemic of baby-eating in academia! UPDATE: Welcome Instapundit readers!
MCLELLAN: The president has always maintained that the cows we eat today aren’t the same cows we ate when Social Security was first designed. Those cows are dead, and stringy. What we need are cows with growth, promise, and ownership.
FAFNIR: Scott most a those cows are American cows an the ones that aren’t are workin with the insurgency. What’re we doin to win the hearts an minds of cows on the Arab street?
GIBLETS: Giblets is proud to report that Gertrude Vindication, president emeritus of the University of Montana at Kerplunk, has resigned in disgrace! Victory! Victory for Gibleeeets! When will the president bow to Giblets, Mclellan! When will he bow to Giblets – NOOOOOW!
MCLELLAN: Growth growth growth, ownership ownership ownership, moo. Good day.
posted by fafnir at 11:38 PM