Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Scientists discover that the world is made of candy! There is a huge celebration because hunger is over forever. People everywhere rush outside an eat trees an grass an birds an cars an streetlights an bits of masonry. Some people say that some things taste better than others, the way dogs taste better than concrete. Other people say this is crazy and that it's all the same flavor with different colors, like a bag of skittles. The first people believe the second people to be impugning the good name of skittles and eat them and find out that people are the most delicious candy of all!
Stuff is eaten in mass quantities. There is a worldwide run on stuff, and countries with more stuff, like mountains and forests and people, start getting invaded by countries with less stuff, like deserts and plateaus. Casualties are enormous but cannot be counted because the bodies don't stay long enough.
Scientists get back on TV to say something else but it is unclear what because televisions have been eaten. Massive food riots break out across the country as morbidly obese people fight for the last few scraps of each other.
Me an Giblets watch it all from our delicious chocolatey bunker. "Maybe we shouldn't eat the furniture so fast," says me to Giblets while he swallows a piece a table leg. "We should ration it out carefully to preserve the candy supply."
"Nonsense!" says Giblets. "We will never run out of the candy supply!"
"Well after the furniture we just have the bunker," says me. "An after the bunker there's just us."
"And eating each other would be crazy," says Giblets.
"Yes," says me. "Crazy."
We stare off into the distance and try not to think about lunch.
Labels: the planets
posted by fafnir at 8:03 PM