Thursday, December 16, 2004
"An then the Big Bad Antiochus Epiphanes came up to the SEVENTH little Maccabee's house, which was made a straw, an he said 'I'm gonna huff an I'm gonna puff an I'm gonna forcibly impose my cultural an religious norms on your house down!"
"Why didn't the little Maccabee just shoot im?" says Giblets.
"Cause he didn't have the magic candles," says me. "The EIGHTH little Maccabee had those an he lived in a house made a cheese but now you're rushin the story."
"This history lesson sounds suspiciously stupid!" says Giblets. "An besides why didn't you tell us about this yesterday while it was still Hanukkah?"
"Because Hanukkah is not a time for rememberin the history of stuff," says me. "It's a time for celebratin the delightfully expressive ambience of stuff! It is the feeeeestival of lights! Woooooo lights."
"It is the festival of lame!" says Giblets. "Enough of dreidels and chocolate coins and new socks! When does Giblets get to make a golem!"
"I dunno Giblets that's really more of a Passover thing," says me.
"Giblets needs his golem," says Giblets. "Giblets needs his earth-wrought unstoppable engine of destruction now!"
"Okay," says me. "But you have to play nice with it."
For those of you playin at home here's how YOU can make a golem! First make a big thing outta clay an earth which is but a shadow of the true glory that is divine creation. Then write the hidden name of God on its forehead an pronounce the secret invocation:
I had a little golem, I made it out of clay
And when it's dried and ready, Prague armies it will slay.
Golem, golem, golem, I made you out of clay.
Golem, golem, golem, with golem I will play.
posted by fafnir at 10:23 AM