Sunday, December 19, 2004

Man of the Year 2004: A Head of Cabbage
2004 was the year of a head of cabbage! Its bold decisive leadership affected everything from the war in Iraq to the can-do inertia of the presidential election.

A head of cabbage always offered us steady leadership in times of change. When we wonder "what's goin on in this crazy world I do not understand" there's a head a cabbage bein a head a cabbage! Its reassuring vegetableness, its green leafiness, the way it looked natural on a farm, spoke to our deep cabbagey values. And it knew how to stick to its guns! When its critics complained that it was a bad cabbage or that it had food poisoning or that it had pointlessly launched the military into a nightmarish, unjustified quagmire, it knew just what to do: keep sittin there bein a cabbage.

Bein a cabbage, a head of cabbage isn't that smart. But it also knows that it's not that smart and listens to other the other cabbages around it which makes it an excellent cabbage manager! Some people say a buncha cabbages will just keep makin stupid mistakes, but the important thing is they will never admit them.

Most important, a head of cabbage has inspired millions with its deep cabbage values. We are more cabbagey as a nation because of a head of cabbage, and with its help we can aspire to higher and higher levels of vegetative wonder. A head of cabbage is Fafblog's Man of the Year.

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posted by fafnir at 3:55 PM




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