Tuesday, August 3, 2004
So we're dancin! Dancin at a party! When all of a sudden Giblets shows up with armed police.
"Giblets what is with the police," says me.
"Harrumph foolish Fafnir not bein vigilant!" says Giblets. "These are not police. These are Gibwatch Security Agents an they are respondin to specific non-specific threats of terror!"
"Oh no terror!" says me jumpin behind a sofa fort. "What should we do Giblets? Should we go to Orange Alert?"
"Orange Alert is for pussies!" says Giblets. "Giblets has devised his own Giblets-specific terror threat-level. We are now at Gibwatch Theta!"
"Oh no!" says me. "That is even worse than Epsilon I think!"
"Now there has been cynical skepticism from foolish not-Giblets fools before now regardin terror warnins an the Gibwatch system," says Giblets.
"Like how the warnings always happen at parties when there's hot chicks who dont like you," says me.
"Do not be foolish all hot chicks love Giblets!" says Giblets. "Because of his strong leadership. Now this time you will all be terrified to hear that our non-specific threat information is specifically specific non-specific threat information!"
"Oh no!" says me an others like me.
"Yes there may be an attack on the financial centers of Giblets!" says Giblets. "All dancin must cease! All must be vigilant for Gible-AAAAGH A BUG!" Gibwatch Security Agents swiftly neutralize the bug.
"Giblets is this very accurate information?" says me.
"Oh very accurate," says Giblets. "It is based on information from four years ago! It has matured like fine wine or cheese or old stew."
"Giblets I am very afraid," says me. "Can I get some Gibwatch Security over here by the sofa fort in case terrorists go 'Oh wait we cannot attack Giblets or the financial centers of Giblets so lets go blow up Fafnir's sofa fort'."
"No," says Giblets. "If Gibwatch Security went throwin around security people willy-nilly it would cause irresponsible levels of panic an - AAAAGH A PLASTIC BAG!" Gibwatch Security Agents swiftly neutralize the plastic bag.
"I am feelin a little uncomfortable with the level of security here Giblets," says me. "I think I'm gonna go someplace less Gibwatchy."
"Sounds suspicious," says Giblets. "Cuff 'im and search 'im for stuff."
"Giblets!" says me, bein indefinitely detained.
"Vigilance is serious work Fafnir, if that is your name. Plus Giblets has just received word that there may be a specific non-specific threat to hot chicks," says Giblets as various hot chicks make various afraid-hot chick noises. "Remember this information is with us because of Giblets's leadership in the war on terror."
"This party sucks," says me.
posted by fafnir at 8:49 AM