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Saturday, May 15, 2004
Really people. This one is kind of a no-brainer.
Even people who are not Giblets know that the United States military is not good at nation-building. What it is very very good at is nation-wrecking. It can line those nations up and knock 'em over like pinballs! It would really be almost frightening if Giblets were not comofortably residing in the United States (a principality of the Pax Gibletsia). Whenever you start working on a major project - a novel, a play, a military occupation - you wanna stick with what you know, what you're good at. We call this "playing to your strengths." America, you are good at blowing things up. Do not be ashamed of this, America! Embrace it, it is part of your rich heritage! Look how fast you took down Baghdad! It was only when you started putting it back together again that things got rough. So what we want to do is start turning the occupation away from "nation-building" and back towards the "nation-wrecking" that was working out so well for us in the beginning. Do not sit around as targets for guerilla attacks while guarding supply convoys! Use air strikes on major civilian and military infrastructure. "But Giblets how will the Iraqis ever form a free and sovereign state" you say because you are stupid. They won't - that is the point! If you bomb them enough they will never recover from their bombings and nothing like a state will ever exist in Iraq. And if a state can't exist in Iraq it can't sponsor terror. Your problems are solved! In fact Giblets's "bomb and re-bomb" strategy is so simple it can be used on lots of countries at once. Just skip the occupation and do multiple rounds of nation-wrecking in places like Iraq, Iran, and Syria. It is so simple only a child could understand it! Giblets also has a brilliant solution for "How To Resolve The Standoff With North Korea" (hint: it starts with "n" and ends with "uclear bombardment").
posted by Giblets at 9:36 PM
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