Monday, January 19, 2004

As I have previously noted I am trapped - oh no! - in my very own home by (a) the lackadaisicalness of the forces of nature (b) the finickiness of an unhelpful dog (c) my very strange and intimidating downstairs neighbors who keep yellin at me and most of all (d) a big egg. That is a lot of bein trapped. So I have needed to try out my survival skills by settin up a trap to catch wild animals which might try to come through the front door of the house, which is open for some reason, and which I cannot close because it is surrounded by all kinds of crazy crap like ketchup and snow and "COME HERE DOGS" signs.

I decided on the falling log trap because it would knock predators unconscious if they tried to sneak in and would leave them to become used as potential food if I ran out of macaroni and peanut butter. I have become Fafnir the survivalist. This is how you see I remain so cool under pressure.

So when Chris came home all angry and covered in snow and eggs and ketchup and a concussion I knew just what to do. "Chris you look awful," I said. "What happened?" "I slipped on a bunch of crap in the doorway and a log fell on my head," he said. "Well you need some sleep," I said. "Better sleep over there on the floor where you won't spread all that egg over everything." I didn't tell him we were trapped because I didn't want him to panic you see. That is called caring leadership.
posted by fafnir at 6:17 PM



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