Thursday, December 4, 2003

It's only 21 days until Christmas. Only 21 days until Santa comes to eat me.


I have been "on hiatus" for a couple weeks, which is an Industry Term. It means "doing basically crap." Now that I'm back from hiatus, here's some updates on the incredible things I've accomplished so far.

MY HUNGER/EATING STRIKE: was a fantastic success. While peace and stability have not come to confused Sri Lanka, it appears that they have come to Louisville, Kentucky. Which once was on the brink of war. Maybe. So my hunger strike ricocheted off Sri Lanka and hit Louisville. Good for you, Louisville! Also, peace has been brought to the steel tariffs. Yes, the steel tariffs, which were once on the brink of war. And now no longer exist. What you don't believe me? Don't go lookin funny at me if you don't pay attention to the news.

MY INVESTIGATION OF THE WHITE HOUSE: came to a sudden end today, as it turns out it was never a big deal after all. Slate's Tim Noah sat down with a copy of Vanity Fair magazine and splained it all to me. "You see Fafnir," said the copy of Vanity Fair magazine, "in this topsy-turvy world, who can tell what goes on when you say who's a CIA agent and who's not? It's all politics and headline-grabbing, man! Up is down! Left is right! Spock has a beard! Forget it, man, it's Chinatown!" "That sure does make a lot of sense, copy of Vanity Fair magazine," I said. Then Shaggy and Velma pulled off Valerie Plame's mask. She'd been Ol' Man Withers all along, tryin' to scare the President away from the abandoned amusement park! Shame on you Ol' Man Withers.

I'm gonna be doin a lot more bloggin from now on, because in this crazy world, I feel The Blog-Going Public needs a Fafnir perspective, a zone of no spin if you will, to inform them on current events. To assist me in this task I am bringin in helper bloggers Giblets and The Medium Lobster, because even Fafnir cannot do it alone. Especially when I must also catch Santa Claus first and kill him before he kills me.
posted by fafnir at 3:27 PM



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