Thursday, August 11, 2005

Well it looks like everybody's tryin to figure out what John Roberts believes about stuff before they vote for him, which I think is just wrong. This whole nomination thing would be a lot easier if we just stopped askin judges about what they'll do with the vast power we're about to give em and focus on the stuff that matters: Are they nice judges? Are mean judges? Are their children adorable little scamps or perfect little angels? Did they come from an inspirational poor minority background or from an upstanding upper-class white family? What's their favorite color? These are important things to know.

This doesn't mean we can't be tough with our judicial nominees. I think the Judiciary Committee should grade Judge Roberts on a strict hundred-point rubric: twenty-five points for personality, fifteen points for talent, ten points for poise, thirty points for the swimsuit competition, and twenty points for the interview portion, where they should make sure to grill him with tough questions like "If you were a tree how would you use your one wish to save hungry children in our endangered wetlands." Some people are gonna say that's way too much for the interview but I believe in bein tough but fair.


posted by fafnir at 5:58 PM



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