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Friday, December 17, 2004
Evil Emperor Ananab of the Bad Banana People has captured us an thrown us in his dungeon! His space dungeon!
"Hahaha!" says Evil Emperor Ananab. "Hohoho!" "Oh you'll pay for this one Evil Emperor Ananab!" says Giblets. "Yes," says me. "Evil never triumphs over good." "Hohoho!" says Evil Emperor Ananab. "Hahaha!" An he turns on the deadly space ray what turns you into space! "Oh no!" says Giblets. "There is no possible way to escape the deadly space ray what turns you into space!" "Oh no how will we ever blog today in time!" says me. We promise we will return later tonight with lots a toys an goodies from our sleigh but right now we gotta escape the clutches a evil. Labels: bananas
posted by fafnir at 2:50 PM
Sunday, July 11, 2004
So me an Giblets an the bowl of frosted flakes an bananas are stuck sittin on top of the dryer talkin.
"Harrumph," says Giblets. "Think Chris'll be mad?" says me. "Why should he be?" says Giblets. "Not our fault the basement flooded. It's God's. He knew what was gonna happen when we put all those marbles in the washin machine an he didnt do squat." "That's very true," says me. "Foreknowledge is fore-responsibility. For shame, God." "I don't think Chris will believe it," says Giblets. "Chris does not believe in God." "I don't understand why," says me. "There is plenty of anecdotal evidence like the Jesus tortilla." "Does God really look like Jesus or does God really look like the tortilla?" says Giblets. "The Catholic Church has informed me in numerous paintins that God is a really big ol man in the sky with a beard," says me. "That is absurd," says Giblets. "Everyone knows that God is a really big ol rabbit in the sky with a beard." "Very true," says me. "There is plenty of anecdotal evidence." "We must attend to survival," says Giblets. "One of us must be eaten so the rest of us can survive." "Oh no!" says me. "Cannibalism!" "It is tough but all in the name of survival," says Giblets."Now I think we should set up a fair an equitable system for this. The person who is most made of milk and sugared cereal should be eaten first by the other two." "Wait a minute Giblets!" says me grabbin protectively at the bowl of frosted flakes an bananas. "I see what you are up to! This is another cynical ploy to eat one of my friends who happens to be made of food!" "All I am tryin to do is y'know make sure we do not all starve," says Giblets, "an that the ones of us who do not starve do not have to eat soggy cereal. But if you like we will draw straws which will be more fair." "All right I will agree to that," says me. "The one who picks the short straw will get eaten," says Giblets. "You an me will pick the long straws first." "Okay," says me. "Wait a minute Giblets! I see what you are up to!" "Harrumph," says Giblets. An the great river of life washes on through our lives an through our basement. Labels: bananas, true adventures
posted by fafnir at 2:29 PM
Thursday, June 24, 2004
So I was at the supermarket the other day buyin bananas an I see this banana with a big bright sticker on it that says "SEE GARFIELD THE MOVIE!" on it an I think to myself well if you can't trust a banana in this day in age who can you trust right so I pick up my things an run out the door as fast as I can down the street an over the other street an across the next one into the movie theater to see Garfield the Movie.
And it was bad. It was so so bad. On a scale from zero to suck it was a fifteen. So I ran back out the theater out the street over the next street right up the other street into the supermarket again past all the angry supermarket people who're all waitin for me from the last time when I ran out carryin all my supermarket things an I ran over to the banana an said "Banana I trusted you! I trusted you to give me an informed and unbiased opinion to direct me in the choices I make in my daily life an you misled me. You misled me with slick advertising and big capital letters and an urgent exclamation point an how am I supposed to believe anything you say now, banana, about how you are rich in potassium and how you are good for my bones and which politicians to vote for? Today I have lost not just a banana, banana, but a role model. You have cast a pall on all bananakind." At that point I hadda leave cause the supermarket people were throwin cheese samples at me.
posted by fafnir at 4:50 PM
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