Wednesday, September 28, 2011

"Now is there any new business," says Giblets.
"Well the boat's sinking," says me.
"Giblets seems to recall that coming up at the last meeting," says Giblets, "which would make that old business."
"Well it's more sinking-er than it was last time," says me. "That's kind of new."
"And under Old Business we agreed to form a Boat Sinking Committee to launch an investigation into the possibility of making a preliminary report on the subject of recommending the formal and official declaration of a Boat Sinking Committee," says Giblets.
"The Boat Sinking Committee has sunk," says me, "along with their half a the boat."
"Well that wraps up the old business!" says Giblets. "Who wants a grilled cheese!"
"The boat's also on fire," says me.
"Perfect," says Giblets. "The water from the sinking and the fire from the burning will cancel each other out, leaving us standing on dry land."
"I feel like there's something wrong with that but I can't put my finger on it," says me. "Because my finger would burn or drown."
"Next order of business!" says Giblets. "Should Giblets grill his grilled cheese on rye bread or cheddar cheese loaf?"
"See, I almost wonder if this isn't the time for grilled cheese," says me, "what with the burning and the sinking and all the fire coming out of the cheese grill."
"Cause cheese loaf is great by itself, but on a grilled cheese it might be overpowering," says Giblets.
"But I don't know whether to try to put out the fire or try to bail out the boat or scream and panic and scream," says me. "Come to think of it this is really the kind of discussion that calls for a Boat Burning Committee."
"Well it looks like there's no other choice," says Giblets. "The motion is for the rye. All in favor?"
"I think the Boat Burning Committee's first course of action should probably be to figure out if we're on fire now," says me. "And if so, do we Stop Drop and Roll, do we See Something Say Something, or do we Click It or Ticket?"
"In that an abstention?" says Giblets. "Cause that makes it one in favor and one abstention."
"I think we should call for a floor vote," says me. "Any seconds? Anyone?"
"Now for the new business," says Giblets. "Why's it so hot in here?"

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posted by fafnir at 9:09 AM




28 Comments:
It's ever so frustrating when the only reason you can't fire the chair is the chair's *already* on fire.

(/Yeah. That's all I got.)
Our friends at Wikipedia inform us:

Casabianca is a poem by British poet Felicia Dorothea Hemans, first published in the New Monthly Magazine for August 1826.

The poem opens:

The boy stood on the burning deck
Whence all but he had fled;
The flame that lit the battle's wreck
Shone round him o'er the dead.

[end of quote from Wikipedia]

Various parodies of this once-famous poem have entered popular culture, and the one which made most impact on me when I was a boy (during the mid-20th century) was


The boy stood on the burning deck
Eating peanuts by the peck
The fire was hot -
His toes were toasted -
He didn't care, he liked them roasted.


Then, of course, we have the Buddha's metaphor of being trapped in a burning house as analogous to the plight of a sentient being incarnated in an inevitably mortal body.

May the Creative Forces of the Universe have mercy on our souls, if any.
Ha! Crazy liberals. How could we be having global warming with all this flame and smoke and stuff?
I wish Giblets would pipe down. Doesn't Giblets know that there is a new television season? The newest one yet? Instead we get all this noise about sinking and burning and imminent demise. We're trying to tune you out Giblets! Do you mind?!

Say, before you drown and stuff, could you sign over the drilling rights to your property? Thanks, cheers, etc.
That may not be Giblets.
I'd say you may have overlooked a small zombie problem there. Try shooting him in the head and see how he reacts.
Giblets is half right. You should use the fire to put out the water.

Also figuratively, if you insist.
Nearer, My Cod, To Thee.

Or Grilled Cheese, if the Cod's run out.
+1 for cheese loaf.
Without grilled cheese, life itself would be impossible.
~
Grilled cheese and bacon. As there is yin and yang, so the universe must be balanced between grilled cheese and bacon at every instance. Failure to do so would, well...

I guess the grilled cheese and bacon hasn't been balanced that way in quite a long time, has it?
by Anonymous Barry Brenesal, at September 29, 2011 7:46 PM
Damn your commentary on the United States!

Also, Medium Lobster should swim by the boat, and contribute.
I'm not sure whether that's admiration or jealousy. Technically, it could just be anathema.

Medium Lobster's major contribution typically would be to take himself out of the problem. Which seems like a good solution in this case.

But I continue to have my doubts about Giblets.
Cross-cultural CHEDDAR CHEESE LOAF

At her blog Everybody Eats Well in Flanders, our friend Miss B. describes herself as "a SAHM from the sunny island of Singapore, currently living in Flanders". The recipes she shares on her blog are an eclectic mix from the Flemish and Chinese traditions, as well as Singaporean home favorites.

With best wishes,
Fannie Farmer (Mrs.)



About this recipe:

It was a handwritten recipe penned by my dear cousin HC, who painstakingly jotted down many of her tried-and-tested favourite recipes when I visited her last Chinese New Year and asked her to share her baking recipes. She even drew a smiley face besides the recipe, to indicate that this recipe is very good and not to be missed.

My cousin is a very good baker, her mini huat kueh and cookies are well-known throughout our extended family. She used to bake and bring along a box of homemade cookies whenever we went on overseas trips. I remember we used to munch on her cookies whenever we felt hungry on the plane or when the food in the hotel was not to our liking. Those were the days, how I missed those days...

Anyway, back to this cheddar cheese loaf. At first I thought the amount of sugar was too much, but after tasting the cake, I was glad I didn't cut down on the sugar. It wasn't too sweet, partly masked by the slightly salty flavour of the cheddar cheese. This cake was really delicious, it was moist and rich and had a mild undertone of cheddar cheese. I especially liked the cheddar cheese bits scattered throughout the cake, they looked so nice and pretty.

I knew this would probably add a few inches to my expanding waistline, but I simply couldn't resist its heavenly taste. It was so addictive that both my hubby and I, plus my baby son kept on munching on the cake, piece after piece...

Thank you my dear cousin, for sharing with me such a wonderful recipe!

INGREDIENTS A
250g butter
230g sugar


INGREDIENTS B
4 eggs


INGREDIENTS C
80g cheddar cheese (finely diced)


INGREDIENTS D
280g flour (sifted)
100ml milk
1 tsp baking powder

METHOD
1. Cream A until light and creamy.

2. Add B (one by one) and cream until light and smooth.

3. Add C and mix until well combined. (Note that the diced cheddar cheese will still remain as it is even after mixing, as it is quite hard.)

4. Lastly add D and mix until well incorporated. Add flour and milk alternately, starting and ending with flour, and use a spatula to fold carefully into the batter.

5. Pour into a greased loaf tin (I used a 30 x 11 x 7 cm loaf tin) and bake at 180C for about 50 min, or until a skewer comes out clean.

6. Once baked, quickly invert the loaf tin on a wire rack and remove the cake. Set it aside and let it cool.
Actually the person is very conscious about this one that is why he uses to say that these things can also be caused of global warming.
(It's a sign.
On one side is writ;
Give the gift of grift,
it takes a raft of graft
to make a campaign last

on the other
Brick licker 4 sale,
2 grand price
2 bit tale
)

“Oh look'it,” I quip, “your pic, it's on a ticket.”
Rick flips the brick and real quick licks it. He spits, “Better a boot than a biscuit, to wit - fit ships ship no wicks lit, lit ships ship no wicks quick, pick fit ships, lit ships are sh...”
Chip's chick, Nicky, interdict's Rick's bit. “Unfit ships ship no fit wicks, you twit, you trick thick hicks with a Koch-sucking schtick. It's not slick, Rick - just Proust et tu Tick!
by Anonymous btr3, at October 12, 2011 1:44 AM
Tryin' to get past F.F. (Mrs.) gms., ml. + tsp. ...

OK, grilled cheese with onions 'n tomatoes on rye, with a kosher pickle. Hold the mayo; well, maybe not the mustard.

Otherwise, seems like we won't be seeing any PIE on FRIDAY, until our prez is a female (or an alien, U pick!). Same thing to some, I suppose...

Where is Freddy el Desfibradddor when you need him?
by Anonymous bintherealready, at October 13, 2011 11:12 PM
Old Business let the minutes of this committee(1) record the last communication from The Grilled Cheese Special Subcommittee;

“After being evacuated to Jacques Bakery and Grilled Cheese Emporium, we initiated a series of empirical tests comparing grilled cheese sandwiches made with the Cheddar Cheese Loaf recipe with grilled cheese made with some of Jacques' best rye. Our initial findings are that the Cheddar Cheese Loaf grilled cheese would not be overpowering after all. The Loaf's cheesiness is very mild and it strongly resembles a Cheese Pound Cake. Under application of heat the high sugar content of the loaf caramelizes most delightfully. We feel that this caramelization could be well utilized in the grilled cheese application.
The Grilled Cheese Special Subcommittee will be staying ashore, and will be continuing our research on this burning issue for the foreseeable future.”


(1)
from the Informal Preliminary Draft (revised) of the Report by the Formal Ad Hoc Committee for the Estimation and Qualification of the Political and Socioeconomic Cost/Benefit Analysis of the possibility of replacing The Boat Burning Committee with a Boat Burning Advisory Committee having more limited powers of subpoena.
by Anonymous bodiciah t rentlord III, at October 15, 2011 1:53 AM
btr3's wordsmithing is VERY impressive.

I was thinking of posting a recipe for Halloween, which is coming up soon, and while looking hither and yon for something suitable, I came across the following at the blog New England Folklore, which may be of interest to those rare minds who seek to expand their limited perception via this comments column.

with best wishes,
Fannie Farmer (Mrs.)

_________________

How to Make a Poppet



I think most people are familiar with the concept of a voodoo doll. It's a small human figure meant to represent an individual for magical purposes.

The term "voodoo doll" is really a misnomer. Using dolls to cast spells has a long history, and isn't even particularly associated with Voudou, which is really an Afro-Caribbean polytheistic religion.

In colonial New England these dolls were known as poppets, which is an old spelling of puppet. They were often cited in witchcraft trials as evidence of malicious magic. For example, Goody Glover, and elderly Irish woman accused of bewitching several Boston children, had in her home

"several small images, or poppets, or babies, made of rags and stuffed with goat's hair and other ingredients. When these were produced the vile woman acknowledged that her way to torment the objects of her malice was by wetting of her finger with her spittle and stroking of these little images."

See? No pins are necessary to torment your victims, just a little spit. And Goody Glover later showed that your doll doesn't even need to be well made - a common stone will do.

Before her execution Goody Glover was visited in prison by Cotton Mather, who prayed for her soul. But, as soon as he was out of her sight, he said she "took a stone, a long and slender stone, and with her finger and spittle fell to tormenting it; though whom or what she meant, I had the mercy to never understand."

Goody Glover's trial happened in 1688, and set the stage for the Salem trials of 1692. Poppets once again played an important role.

Two men testified against Bridget Bishop that while doing work in her cellar, they tore down a wall to find "several poppets made up of rags and hogs' bristles with headless pin in them with the points turned outward..." This evidence helped make her the first person executed in the Salem witch trials.

Poppets were also used as evidence against Candy, a slave in the Salem Village house of Nathaniel Putnam. She kept in her room "a handkerchief wherein several knots were tied, rags of cloth, a piece of cheese, and a piece of grass." These must have been a very simple dolls indeed, but the afflicted girls claimed they could see the specters of Candy and the Black Man (i.e. the Devil) pinching the dolls, which caused them great pain. Candy was later forced to eat the grass, which she claimed burned her skin. Candy confessed to being a witch, and ultimately escaped execution.

Given all the bad energy surrounding poppets in this part of the country, I'm reluctant to provide specific instructions. However, I found this video (with peppy music) that shows you how. Watch it if you dare!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=2depntITYi8

The quotes in this post were from Chadwick Hansen's Witchcraft at Salem.

http://newenglandfolklore.blogspot.com/2011/10/how-to-make-poppet.html
I predict the glacial pace of postings on fafblog will be the last glacier like thing left on earth.

Or Mitt Romney.
It's been a little over 30 years since Americans decided they would not abide any limits. So they borrowed and borrowed and borrowed some more against the future. The future is here, at the front door, and it demands payment now but there is no way to borrow to pay it off.

That's what some of you are feeling or almost feeling but you can't quite put your finger on it. And you can't really believe the bills are coming due right now.

Believe it.
by Anonymous rapier, at October 20, 2011 10:01 PM
I am in downtown America right now, trying to find a jar of 'Trail Of Tears' brand Comeuppance. The entire Doomstown area is full of Poppets and people trying to put their finger on things -- which tell the people to please keep their hands to themselves.

Most places are serving monstrous debt with a side of Angst. Or, just the Angst. Fortunately there's peppy music, and sports teevee. The commercials seem to calm people down by convincing them that they should want to be able to afford whatever they're looking at.
by Anonymous joel hanes, at October 31, 2011 10:19 PM
Faf -
Try tossing a wet zombie on the fire. Or get some advice from Okra Tofu pie - quick!
by Anonymous Michael in Cambridge, at November 05, 2011 9:07 AM
So all of fafblog sunk with the burning ship.

But at least the fire's out.
~
What is this wondrous wonderful thing?! I love this story/dialogue. (just popped over from IBTP). Yay!
Hi Fannie,
Thanks for sharing cross cultural chadder cheese loaf recipe with everyone. I have checked the ingredients and found all in stock so will try cheese loaf on this weekend.
Fafboat: the world's greatest deliberative body.
by Anonymous calling all toasters, at December 16, 2011 12:33 AM
A big heartfelt thanks to you guys for ending the war yesterday.
by Anonymous e julius drivingstorm, at December 16, 2011 8:19 PM

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