Friday, April 9, 2010
"If you could wish for one wish from all the wishes you could wish, what would you wish?" says Giblets.
"Well yknow I always thought the world'd be a better place if people could communicate better," says me, "which is why I developed Fafsperanto, the universal language made from English and Spanish and Urdu and Mandarin and rhythmic elephant trumpeting."
"Shut up Giblets doesn't care!" says Giblets. "Giblets would wish for a singing tap-dancing joke-telling bagel named Starchy O'Shaughnessy and put it in a sold-out Broadway musical revue as the Eighth Wonder of the World!"
"It was actually goin pretty good for a while," says me, "with the classes on tape and the courses online and a lotta elephants were pretty interested in the semester abroad program."
"People would come from miles and miles to marvel and wonder at the amazing miraculous feats and powers of Giblets's magical tap-dancing bagel until Giblets got bored and ate it," says Giblets.
"But it all kinda fell apart after the bursar tried to shoot one a the TAs to harvest his tusks and a visiting lecturer trampled the provost in the faculty lounge," says me.
"Then Giblets would wake up so full of guilt and grief and rage and remorse for eating his innocent bagel friend that he would use his second wish to destroy the earth," says Giblets.
"Now I think maybe everybody should come with their own personal language as well as a book of handy phrases like 'I would like to purchase the balloon' and 'which way to the zoo'," says me.
"And after destroying the earth Giblets would feel so full of guilt and grief and so on that he would use his third and final wish to wish that none of his other wishes were ever wished and for all we know this has already happened," says Giblets.
"La playa," says me readin out loud. "Donde está la playa."
"Giblets's second choice would be a llama that plays the saxophone," says Giblets.
Labels: true adventures
posted by fafnir at 9:04 AM
Vamos a jugar por la playa...
I keep getting friends,
Looking like lesbians,
If we get bored,
We'll move to California
Here are some interesting facts from the Simple English Wikipedia article about elephants:
People have never domesticated elephants. Domesticated animals are tame and have babies under human control. The male elephant in heat is dangerous and hard to control. Most elephants used by people are female, except those used in war. In a battle, female elephants run from males, so armies needed males.
In the wild, elephants have strong family groups. Their ways of acting toward other elephants are hard for people to understand. They "talk" to each other with very low sounds. Most elephants sounds are so low, people cannot hear them. But elephants can hear these sounds far away.
Elephants are related to sea cows, which are large mammals that live in water. Some people think that long ago, the ancestors of elephants also lived under water. Evolution is how one species changes into another. The ancestors of elephants would have used their trunks for breathing air while they swam. Even today, elephants can swim like this.
>Evolution is how one species changes
I need some evolution 'cause I want an elephant trunk. Trunks make elephants look stylish. And I'd be real popular with an elephant trunk 'cause I could lift big things and yank trees out and stuff. It might fix my sinus problems too.
Well, I intend to vamos a la playa. I have a hot date with one Medium Lobster.
Word verification: Pajagnes. They are making such cute word verifications these days.
Gentlemen, if we're willing to compromise a bit, we can have a win-win situation here -
a saxophone being played on the beach - the player is on the playa, so to speak
It's a Bob Marley tune
Here are some interesting facts from the Simple English Wikipedia article about the saxophone:
A saxophone is a musical instrument that is made of brass and often just called a "sax". Due to the fact it is made from brass it is often involved in what is referred to as a brass section alongside true brass instruments like the trumpet or trombone. However, it is not a true brass instrument but a member of the woodwind family of instruments because it has a reed. It was developed from the clarinet and shares many similarities to the clarinet. The player blows into a reed fitted into the mouthpiece of the instrument....
There are several different kinds of saxophone. In order from low to high pitch they are: Tubax, Contrabass, Bass, Baritone, Tenor, Alto, Soprano, Sopranino, and Soprillo. However, only the baritone, tenor, alto, and soprano are in common use.
It was invented in 1842 by Adolphe Sax and is very popular with modern rock and pop musicians, and often used in jazz music. The big bands of the 1940s and 1950s always used it too.
everybody should come with their own personal language
So they did, Sam say Song. The truth of it burns at both ends.
The Babel fish" said The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy quietly, "is a small, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier but from those around it. ... The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything in any form of language.
...the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation."
I had to be very careful at these events, following the etiquette my grandmother had ingrained under the repeated, painful poke of an angry thimble to the sternum.
In the 1880s, English jeweler Charles Horner (1837 - 1896) patented a simple idea - he designed a silver thimble "sandwich", made of sterling silver with a strong steel ‘middle’. With silver being such a soft metal so easily pierced by needles, this invention meant no more holes in thimbles!
Thimble Sandwich Cookies
Rare Best of BYERLY'S RECIPE COLLECTION Cookbook Minneapolis MINNESOTA 1985
Now here's a sandwich!
Here is the complete Simple English Wikipedia article about Bagel:
Bagels are a type of bread made with flour. They look like doughnuts, because like doughnuts, bagels are a circle of dough. However, a doughnut is a sweet dough that is deep-fried in oil, and bagels are boiled in water and then baked in an oven.
Bagels are often toasted in a toaster and then paired with foods like cream cheese (a soft cheese that tastes a little sweet) and jam, or with butter. Bagels can also be used to make sandwiches, with meat (for example smoked salmon) and egg and cheese. Bagel sandwiches are usually eaten for breakfast or lunch.
Illustration: A salt beef with mustard bagel.
Illustration: Bagel half spread with cream cheese.
>Alright, who stole the illustrations?
Giblets put them on the magical tap-dancing bagel and ate them. They he said they were awful and boring and tasted like stale Wikipedia.
My wish is that Al Roker would be dropped into the Eyjafjallajökull volcano to appease the fire god so that the angry earth will stop shaking and spitting lava.
How do you say Eyjafjallajökull in Fafsperanto by the way?
the Eyjafjallajökull volcano
again and again
How nature reveals
The folly of men"
---blue öyster cult, "Godzilla"
My favorite Fafblogposts are the ones like these, in which Fafnir and Giblets attempt to talk to each other but forget the listening to each other part of talking to each other.
Capcha: untor, which sounds strangely like Trogdor.
I am hereby granting everyones wishes. The fulfillment of all your wishes only appears to be smoke and ashes in your limited perception of space and time.