Monday, March 8, 2010

VICTOREEEEEEEEE! After nineteen years of bombs and wars and torture and bombs and torture and ethnic cleansing and torture, America's mission in Iraq has finally been re-reaccomplished through the miracle of symbolic purple-fingered brown people! Oh sure, all the cynics and the critics and the nattering nabobs of payingattentionism will say "Oh but Giblets haven't we had five or six of these already, what makes these purple fingers different from previous purple fingers" and the answer to that is shut up. These purple fingers are the most purplest-fingeriest purple fingers to ever have been symbolically purpled! They stand as unique and compelling evidence of our nation's sincere generational commitment to transform a brutal impoverished dictatorship into a brutal, more impoverished dictatorship by freeing Iraq from the deadly menace of Iraqis.

And with that under our belt it's time for America to pull up its pants, smack the dust off its hands, stuff a million dead Iraqis into the national crawlspace and move on.1 Wait! What's that! Is that the sound of a desperate Iran being terrorized by Iranians? Looks like a job for America!

1. Except for fifty thousand non-combat troops, who are to remain behind to shoot people and bomb things in a non-combat capacity.

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posted by Giblets at 3:58 PM

You got that right!
but, but, what about the Oscars?!

by Anonymous Anonymous, at March 08, 2010 8:14 PM
... and that's the reason why I dont't want to live in Iraq.
Perhaps Iraqi democrats require the assistance of MauveOn.Org.


by Anonymous tarjj, at March 09, 2010 6:38 AM
wait, wait, wait….

There's an Iraq and an Iran?

How confusing…..
So these ungrateful Iraqi prats have time to tart around for the cameras with their swishy purple fingers, yet America has yet to receive one sincere thank you for all it’s hard work. Typical. It’s not easy destroying an entire nation for its own good, you know. Where’s the gratitude? Do they think we enjoy killing tens of thousands of faceless anonymous (evil) foreigners with our cluster bombs and depleted uranium shells? Okay, well, maybe, yes, a little bit, it’s true, but that’s still no excuse for them not to get down on their knees and thank Uncle Sam for picking them this time (and maybe the clever dinosaurs and foliage who had the forethought to putrefy under their sand for our future benefit).

God but sometimes I almost hate the people we so lovingly save with our kindly violence. Just no appreciation. Savages.
by Anonymous Strangefate, at March 10, 2010 6:40 PM
I'm just glad the troops staying behind are in a non-combat capacity selling girl scout cookies.
by Anonymous locust, at March 10, 2010 8:46 PM
why that Iraq is such a doom place is there no peace no coming there?
@Fafblog who or what designed your header? please email me back,
by Anonymous Tootheater, at April 18, 2011 5:09 PM


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