Thursday, January 21, 2010

"Yknow it's always darkest before the dawn," says me.
"Unless the sun blows up," says Giblets. "Cause now that the sun's blown up it's just always darkest before it gets more dark."
"Well I guess so," says me. "But even then you got the bright side a the sun blowin up, like no more sunburns an cheaper parkin at the beach an more job opportunities for our friends in the vampire community."
"You talk crazy talk!" says Giblets. "Vampires will never overcome the systemic racial prejudice of the wolfman-industrial complex!"
"See that's just the kinda negative-nancy gloom-and-doom-talk that got the sun blown up in the first place," says me. "Oh, the sun's too hot. Oh, the sun causes cancer. Oh, let's shoot this sun-exploding missile at the sun."
"Look, we could sit around all day pointing fingers and playing the blame game but where's that gonna get us?" says Giblets. "Blamed, that's where! What we need to do is come up with alternative sources of sun, like real big light bulbs or a cheaper more portable God or a way to set the moon on fire."
"Maybe we can rub Mercury and Venus together real fast over a big pile a sticks," says me.
"Maybe we can lure a new sun with candy and toys and stuff it into a sack and take it home," says Giblets
"Maybe we can paint a big yellow spot on the sky and nobody'll know the difference," says me.
"Maybe we don't need the stupid ol sun at all!" says Giblets. "Maybe we just need to blow up the cold, too! Giblets demands war on snow, airstrikes on glaciers, multinational economic sanctions on the stratosphere!"
"Maybe we'll just have to get along without a sun for a while," says me. "It'll be like it was in the ol days, back before we got all hung up on fancy modern conveniences like light and plants and breathable air."
"A return to simpler times," says Giblets, "like in the days of our hearty dirt ancestors."
"See, every cloud has a silver lining," says me.
"Or it would, if we hadn't blown up the clouds," says Giblets.

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posted by fafnir at 1:04 PM
Monday, January 18, 2010

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posted by the Medium Lobster at 10:48 AM
Thursday, January 14, 2010

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