Tuesday, September 30, 2008
"Maybe the glaciers aren't melting at all," says me. "Maybe it's just a coupla fat guys who keep tryin to go ice skatin at the same time."
"Maybe it's like that episode of the Twilight Zone where everybody thinks it's getting hotter but it's all a dream and outside the dream it's really getting colder!" says Giblets. "Boy, would we feel stupid then!"
"Maybe God parked the earth out in the sunny part a the parking lot an once he gets back from the store an turns up the AC it'll all be back to normal," says me.
"Sir, I find your ideas compelling and would like to give you a grant from the Exxon-Mobil Foundation," says Giblets.
"What an exciting time for science!" says me.
Labels: our world and how to kill it
posted by fafnir at 3:25 PM
Excuse me? What do you think the polar ice caps and rain forests and ocean currents are? They're your AC, puny humans!
Fer my son's sake, you people were supposed to have evolved a while back, and I refuse to take the blame because you all spent most of the last century worried about commies and stuff. See you on the other side of Jupiter, suckers.
I herby decree an end to cooling from polar ice caps, rain forests, and ocean currents. Clearly these are out-dated and inefficient.
All future planetary cooling will be fueled exclusively by wind power generated from the screams of former U.S. bankers and investors...
I remember when Exxon just wanted to put a tiger in your tank... That never seemed really eco-friendly... burning tigers.
Look, the real reason for global warming it clear. The position of the material world vis-à-vis the divine realms of heaven and hell is influenced by our world's affinity for those realms. Our world is not fixed in its metaphysical position: rather, if our world becomes more sinful, and thus more morally proximate to hell, our world's metaphysical position will also shift to become metaphysically closer to hell. As such, tolerance for the abomination of homosexuality, and supreme court decisions legalizing same-sex marriage, cause our world to become closer to hell, and since hell is quite well established as being hot, it's only natural that our world will heat up as the metaphysical distance between it and hell shrinks.
Gays are responsible for everything. Everything.
It really chaps my hide that people always talk about global warning but never do anything about it! I mean, it's simple -- if you've got a problem with greenhouse gases, then what you need to do is tear down all the dang gassy greenhouses!
remember that M*A*S*H episode where Klinger couldn't sleep because it was so hot and humid, and Hawkeye gave him a placebo pill, and told him it was an experimental drug that would cool him off, and Klinger felt cool and comfortable after that, until someone told him they were nothin but sugar pills, and then he was all hot and sleepless and angry about the lies?
it was a great episode if you missed it.
anyway, that's what we need! sugar pills for everybody! just KEEP IT QUIET for goodness sakes so nobody finds out! then we'll be cool as a cucumber and able to sleep at night.
God is punishing the world because there are gay Penguins.
On the up side, the great thing about all those melting ice caps is that Alaska will be the first to get covered up because it's closer to the North Pole. That'll make it even easier to shoot moose from helicopters.
The time is now, people, for a little pie.
claims San Francisco Chronicle TV Columnist Tim Goodman
PUSHING DAISIES Season Premiere
Wednesday, Oct. 1, 2008 - 8 pm/7 central
'Pushing Daisies' a beautiful bouquet
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Of all the sophomore reruns - whoops, relaunches - few face the anticipation of ABC's whimsical "Pushing Daisies." And few may have a harder time explaining not only the show's premise but what happened last season before the strike prematurely ended all the fun....
Ah, but "Pushing Daisies" is special and worth the effort for new viewers to check it out this time around. Unlike other sophomore series - like "Chuck," "Life" and "Lipstick Jungle" on NBC, or "Private Practice," "Eli Stone" and "DSM" on ABC - viewers got a sense that something different was taking place on television. Barry Sonnenfeld, who just won an Emmy for "Pushing Daisies," is a master at the visual aesthetics of a show. See: "The Tick" or "Men in Black" on the big screen, etc. (And I got to watch these new "Pushing Daisies" episodes on a DVD and a flat-screen television, where the beauty of the saturated primary colors and the hyper-real sets sprang to life, hence this review seeing the light of day.)
Bryan Fuller, who created the series, is a master of the written word ("Wonderfalls," "Heroes," "Dead Like Me," etc.). Though he loves sci-fi, it could be argued that Fuller's best work is doused in quirk ("Wonderfalls," "Pushing Daisies"), where he can exercise a particular elan for clever wordplay, bemused romanticism and bittersweet sarcasm.
Together, Sonnenfeld and Fuller make a killer duo and have found, in "Pushing Daisies," the best show for their talents, which is why it's essential that "Pushing Daisies" repeats the miracle of last season. To wit: The longest of long shots - the fairy tale-like story of a piemaker who can bring the dead to life with a touch of his hands, then drop them back dead again with another touch - not only escaped the ratings ghetto of all shows that are too cute for the masses, but managed to thrive.
Until the strike, that is. Nine episodes is not enough to make a lasting bond with viewers. But of all shows getting a second chance, this one provides a wonderful opportunity for those who missed it the first time around....
Time for pie
The time is now, people, for a little pie.
Here's the recipe, which is expertly crafted into the opening minutes of tonight's return: Ned (Lee Pace, who was nominated for an Emmy this year) has some gifts of note. As an adult, he makes a wonderful pie, and sells them at his Pie Hole diner. But as a child, he learned a tough lesson about his other peculiar talent: He can touch something that's dead and bring it back to life. But if he touches it again, it's dead forever. And if he brings something back to life - whether person, dog or insect - for longer than a minute, something else must die in its place.
Freaked out by this, he lives a lonely life making pies. But then he finds out his childhood sweetheart and first kiss, Charlotte "Chuck" Charles (Anna Friel), was murdered on a cruise ship and he sets out to help solve her murder, which benefits private eye Emerson Cod (Chi McBride). See, once Ned touches the dead bodies, they can wake up, say what happened to them, then Emerson gets the reward money and splits it with Ned. But Ned decides to keep Chuck alive, since her sweetness has rekindled his boyhood crush on her (plus Ned feels he owes Chuck because bringing back his mother, who keeled over in his youth, inadvertently meant that Chuck's dad was the person who died in her place).
Clever, really. And you don't see many premises like that. Both Pace and Friel are exceptional in their quaint romanticism, while McBride leavens everything with his gruff but lovable opportunistic private eye.
Broadway veterans Swoosie Kurtz and Ellen Greene play Chuck's wacky aunts, and fellow Broadway sensation Kristin Chenoweth (also nominated for an Emmy) plays Olive Snook, the Pie Hole waitress in love with Ned who knows a very big secret from one of the aunts.
Murder of the week
Tonight's opening deftly recaps the past nine episodes and immediately gets into the murder of the week. That's the glitch, of course. If there's a weakness, it's this weekly murder trope. And yet, "Pushing Daisies" is able to combine the closed-ended nature of a weekly plot that American viewers like so much with the ongoing complicated relationship of Ned and Chuck, plus some mysterious twists involving the aunts, Olive and Emerson. So the whodunit is secondary to the how-they-talked-about-it before solving the case.
Again, it's back to the writing and the look. Both are superb. "Pushing Daisies" was nominated for 12 Emmys, and it remains, in this fledgling second season, a vibrantly different, thoroughly engaging, whimsically endearing hour of television. Few series this year, new or otherwise, can claim that.
More pie blogging
It is indeed an exciting time for science as various wingnuts accuse climatologists of genocide. http://scienceblogs.com/deltoid/ shows the reputation of English aristos for being unbalanced blood thirsty asswipes to be well founded.
Even more pie blogging
Is this the opposite of that silly song where the cake was left out in the rain? We have been left out in the sun? God forgot us in the parking lot because God is a shopping mall freak? Oy!!! Really, I think turning on the AC will not be enough. I wanna have a popsickle. No popsickle = global warming. Simple.
Murder of the Week. What a lovely idea for Fafblog. We can place bets on who Giblets will kill next week. I'll start by placing my bet.
Artificial sweetener not to be confused with artifecal sweetener (you don't want to know). They can't even agree what color packets to put it in. In fact, no one really knows what it is. Kill it.
god damns the AC!
god damns you and me!
god damns you and me!
(excerpted from "Pal Yahweh")