Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Hello there and welcome back to Friday Pie-Blogging! Today's pie is the delicious raspberry lime tart. Just take a look at that gooey fruit filling nestled gently in that flaky graham cracker crust. Mmmm, mmm! Taste the flavor.
"I dunno Fafnir," says you, "I mean sure it LOOKS good what with all the nutmeg an the cinnamon an the multiple rows a inch-long retractable teeth but somehow somethin just doesn't seem right about this pie. Maybe I'll have this bucket of delicious chum instead."
Yknow what, you're right - somethin is wrong with this pie. This pie needs some ice cream! A pie just isn't a pie without ice cream. And put down that bucket a tasty ground-up fish meal - that's for feedin our pie. And what a pie it is! See that sturdy primary dorsal fin? That's how you know it's baked fresh.
"Well that does look like some mighty tasty ice cream," says you. "But I just still don't know about this pie. On the one hand, it's a rich and savory dessert, but on the other hand it's less of a dessert than it is an eighteen-foot-long man-eating shark."
Well that's just crazy talk! This pie is definitely a pie, and in fact it is such a pie that it has received a special pie prize for pieness from the top pielologist at the National Pie Institute of Pies, who spent four years living and swimming with the Great Atlantic Tiger Pies where he came to appreciate their savage yet beautiful culture before gettin eaten by a rogue sea quiche.
"Oh wow!" says you. "Well that's pretty impressive for a pie."
Yes, yes it is. But if you don't want it I guess we'll just haveta throw it away.
"Oh no, don't do that!" says you. "I had no idea it was such a prestigious award-winning pie."
Oh now it's too late, we're throwin it away. Throwin it away into the ocean where starving children in Africa would have loved to be eaten by it but now it is too late on accounta you made us throw away the pie.
"Oh no what have I done!" says you. "Please give me another pie, pleeeaaaase."
Well aw shucks! We can't stay mad at you. Here's today's new pie, the delicious peach cobbler.
"Thank you, Fafblog, for giving me a second chance!" says you. "From now on I'll be good and kind to everyone and keep pie-blogging alive in my heart all year long!"
And God bless us, every one!
"Oh the biting, oh the pain!"
posted by fafnir at 2:38 PM
While my policy is to always believe Fafnir vs myself, to remove any and all doubt, I've requested a randomly-selected official provide counsel.
Well, guess what! Law Professor John Yoo has issued a bulletproof legal ruling establishing 100% this is pie and 100% against my plaintiff ass. People's Exhibit P is as not-a-shark as the Framers of the Constitution allowed for.
I will console myself with a bite of pie, some Bactine, and this bib with the cute lobster-like bloodstain to serve as a stylish yet practical tourniquet.
The chum ate my identity,
Capt. Twelve A.M. Midnight, E.S.T., C.E.
Remember, Cap'n, John Yoo sez you can do whateverthehellyouwant as long as you don't enjoy it or aren't malicious about it!
So, get to it!