Monday, March 27, 2006

Now everybody knows the duck is the greediest animal in all the land an one day Zeus decided to teach him a lesson. So he invited all the animals over an promised to give each one a special present an sure enough the duck was one a the first ones that showed up.

First the giraffe walked up an Zeus said "Hello there giraffe, and what would you like for Zeusmas!" an the giraffe said "I'd like a new DVD player" an Zeus said "Oh ho! You may have it, but be careful what you wish for – you just might get it!" An so the giraffe took his DVD player an went on his way. Next the goldfish came up to Zeus an Zeus said to the goldfish "Hello there goldfish, and what would you like for Zeusmas!" an the goldfish said "I'd like a delicious frosted cupcake" an Zeus said "Oh ho! You may have it, but be careful what you wish for – you just might get it!" An so the goldfish took his delicious frosted cupcake an went on his way. Then the duck came up to Zeus an Zeus said "Hello there duck, and what would you like for Zeusmas!" an the duck said "I'd like all your money" an Zeus said "Oh ho! You may have it, but be careful what you wish for – you just might get it!" An so the duck took all of Zeus's money an went on his way.

Then the ostrich came up to Zeus an Zeus said "What are you people still doing here?" an the ostrich said "I thought we all got presents" an Zeus said "Oh, alright" an the ostrich said "I want a racecar!" an Zeus realized he couldn't afford that on accounta he just gave all his money away to the duck an Zeus said "I don't have a racecar but how'd you like these neat complimentary airline saltines!" an the ostrich said "What about a jetpack instead?" an Zeus said "What the hell would you do with a jetpack?" an the ostrich said "Dunno, fly around and fight crime" an Zeus said "Get off my porch, birdboy." The ostrich decided Zeus was prejudiced against ostriches and declared himself an independent candidate for Zeus in the next election and while he didn't win he went on to steal enough votes from Zeus's core constituency of large flightless birds to throw the election to Zeus's main opponent, a charismatic walrus.

The duck bought a real big house an hired some beefy duck guards to stand around it. They spent a lotta time beatin up Zeus.

The Moral Of Our Story: Zeus is stupid.

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posted by fafnir at 3:49 PM




1 Comments:
when i first read this account, i recall wondering if the duck was really the greediest animal - i'd heard it was the weasel, or maybe the weevil

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