Wednesday, February 22, 2006

You’re lost in the desert an you’re outta water an there’s jackals after you but it’ll all be worth it once you get over that next sand dune and reach the delicious desert pie on the other side. You’ve been headin towards it for a coupla hours now an it doesn’t really seem to be gettin any closer but that’s probably cause it’s one a those movin pies you heard about, like NASA’s orbital pielab or the rare South American walking pie. Maybe you just gotta run a little faster. Maybe you can sneak up on it or lure it into a clever pie trap. Maybe this is the deadly pie madness your colorful native guide warned you about.

“The desert pie, she plays tricks on the mind!” said your colorful native guide. “The heat and the sand and the wind bake a pie made of crazy which no man can capture – or resist! Turn back while you can, señor!” But if you stayed outta the desert you’d never find the lost Aztec treasure-pie of Quetzalcoatl, ritually sprinkled with gold dust and fed to the ancient Incan pastry-kings to bless them with immortality and long life and death by gold poisoning. And with this ancient crayon treasure map your friend the leprechaun just gave you you oughtta find the ancient temple in no time! Right after you get yourself some a this pie. You can almost taste it now, and it tastes like victory – hot, dry, sandy victory. “Go back, laddie! It ain’t worth it!” says the leprechaun. Oh, what do leprechauns know about pie anyway! Now all you need is some ice cream from that magical flyin camel over there an you’ll be sittin pretty.


posted by fafnir at 7:16 PM



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