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Tuesday, January 3, 2006
"To the new year!" says me.
"The new year!" says Giblets. "And the feverish hope that it will be nothing at all like the old year." "The old year wasn't so bad," says me. "It came with that neat woodpecker." "The old year was made of dust and rust and dyspepsic yak intestines!" says Giblets. "The new year is made of moon men and breakdancing robots and gleaming foil-wrapped cities of tomorrow, each glistening spire shining with the light of a thousand newborn suns!" "Yknow it kinda looks a lot like the old year," says me. "You talk crazy talk!" says Giblets. "The new year is merely camoflaging itself as an old year in order to lure smaller, weaker years within striking distance." "No see, you can tell by its distinctive natural stripes," says me. "Notice the red and yellow horizontal bands along the abdomen followed by its high-level torture scandals." "Wait a minute, this isn't a new year at all!" says Giblets. "This is just the same stupid old year wearing a different year costume! Oh Dick Clark, will your treachery never end!" "Dick Clark will always be with us, Giblets," says me. "Every year at midnight he bursts into flame and leaves a tiny egg behind from which a new Dick Clark will hatch." "Now Giblets has to live through the same stupid year all over again!" says Giblets. "The worst part is pretending to be surprised. 'Oh look, the house is on fire.' 'Oh look, masses of dying poor people.' Spice it up, universe!" "There were some good parts back in the old year," says me. "Like that time we didn't get eaten by dinosaurs." "That's only cause we got eaten by the sea monster first," says Giblets. "But notice there's no dinosaurs in the sea monster," says me. "Except for Killzo the killer dinosaur," says Giblets. "Yeah but he seems kinda friendly," says me. "He always stays on his side a the sea monster." "He says he's gonna try to eat us tonight," says Giblets. "Really?" says me. "I thought he hadda clear that with the sea monster." "They worked it out," says Giblets. "Huh," says me. The dinosaur's wavin at us from across the stomach. We wave back. "I think we can take im," says me. "You think so?" says Giblets. "Oh sure," says me. "I can stun im with a fascinatin lecture on subjective idealism an you can zap im with your laser breath!" "Anything is possible in the bold heady newness of the new year!" says Giblets. "To the new year!" says me. Labels: true adventures
posted by fafnir at 4:26 PM
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