Sunday, December 4, 2005

The other day Giblets was shopping for presents for his closest friends and vassals when an elderly mall greeter said "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" forcing Giblets to beat him insensate with a vanilla-scented gift candle. Why must our relentlessly secular society attempt to obscure The Reason For The Season! Yes there are non-Christmas holidays but those are the sissy holidays. Christmas can beat up Hanukkah, Eid and Kwanzaa without breaking a sweat.

Christmas is a sacred, religious time - a season to commemorate the coming of our lord and savior Santa Claus. Every year Santa and his heraldic winged reindeer emerge from their manufacturing facilities in the frozen north to sell overpriced gadgets, processed snack foods, and proprietary game software to all the good little consumers of the world. It is his greatest gift to us: for Santa so loves the world that he exploits his overseas workforce, that whosoever would purchase his products would not pay exorbitant fees, but save on a fine selection of high quality goods every day.

But you wouldn't know that from listening to secular culture and its war against Christmas, which clutters the public sphere with meaningless crap like mangers and Baby Jesii! The Budweiser Holiday Horses are spinning in their graves!
posted by Giblets at 1:19 PM



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