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Friday, December 23, 2005
Merry Christmas, poor people! In the spirit of the season, Senate Republicans have stripped $2 billion in heating oil aid from a $453 billion defense appropriation bill. What better way to celebrate the beauty of your winter wonderland than by cutting off the heat that separates you from its icy glory!
No, don't thank Giblets, it is all part of the Christmastime Spirit of Giving! This year Giblets is giving you the greatest gift of all: the gift of giving to Giblets. Since it is better to give than to receive, Giblets and his favorite congressmen are selflessly allowing you to give up billions of dollars worth of aid while we receive tens of billions of dollars worth of tax cuts. Who needs warmth when you can bask in the glow of supply-side magnanimity! Giblets wishes he could spend the holidays in your frigid, threadbare hovel, where you experience the holiday free from the rampant and seedy commercialization that has corrupted it so. Alas, instead he must remain ensconced within his toasty mansion, sipping egg nog and dining on fire-roasted condor flesh. Giblets hopes you appreciate the sacrifices he endures for you! Oh, but it is Christmas, and generosity is its own reward! Ho ho ho, and a Happy New Year!
posted by Giblets at 6:38 PM
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