Judge Samuel Alito believes that the constitution doesn't protect the right to an abortion. But don't you worry, pro-choicers! That's just his personal legal opinion, which would never affect his legal decisions on the court. If he becomes a Supreme Court Justice, Judge Alito will come to any decision by plugging his brain directly into the Just-O-Vac 2000, which will allow the digitally simulated minds of the Founding Fathers to override his very own. Remember, it's not the police strip-searching your ten-year-old daughter: it's Alexander Hamilton.
The United States, of course, does not torture, but the fledgling somethingocracy of Iraq apparently does. Or is this merely cruel, degrading, and humiliating treatment? Only John Yoo knows for sure.
Finally, here at Fafblog Editorial we must agree with the President's conclusion that congressional Democrats have no right to criticize the President for manipulating pre-war intelligence; after all, those same Democrats supported the war after seeing the same intelligence the President had just manipulated. By believing what the President said, the Democrats are just as much in the wrong as the President himself. We might as well forget the whole thing. Why, we can't even remember what the fusswas all about.