Monday, October 3, 2005
"Don't eat that toast!" says Giblets. "It is possessed by the devil."
"I don't see the problem there," says me. "Devil needs a place to live too."
"The devil is not part of this complete breakfast!" says Giblets. "The devil turns soggy in milk and causes the gum disease gingivitis!"
"I dunno Giblets," says me. "Maybe there's some kinda scientific explanation for the devil toast. Maybe it's gotta rare form a schizophrenia. Maybe it's epileptic toast."
"You mock Giblets's beliefs with your cold unfeeling science!" says Giblets. "But there are plenty of things your godless theories cannot explain, like the flagellum and the sasquatch and how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!"
"Now that's not fair," says me. "Modern science is learnin a lot about the sasquatch an its strange an beautiful culture."
"Yes, Giblets has been very impressed with the progress of the Yeti peace accords," says Giblets. "But there's no reasoning with the devil and there is no denying the evidence of his terrible Satanic majesty at work! Behold!" Giblets waves the toast around a while.
"Oh yes very terrible," says me.
"Yes, it has completely shaken Giblets's faith in the natural order of toast," says Giblets. "Why would a just toast god allow this to happen!"
"Maybe it's all part of a bigger plan for toast we just don't understand," says me. "Like some kind of toast test."
We look at the toast. It's gettin cold.
"Possessed toast is stupid and lame!" says Giblets.
"Oh no, that's, yknow, not necessarily true," says me. "It's pretty scary for toast."
"If the devil really loved Giblets he would possess something cool," says Giblets. "Like a little girl or a herd of pigs or a dinosaur."
"Well sometimes bad things just don't happen to good people," says me. "You can't blame yourself."
"Giblets is going to his room," says Giblets. "Wake me up if there's a plague or something."
posted by fafnir at 9:02 AM