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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
First of all, Giblets wants to say that he doesn't know if he's getting indicted, so everybody better stop asking. Not that Giblets is expecting to be indicted - because Giblets has done NOTHING WRONG, you can find the name of a covert CIA agent anywhere in Washington, in fact just last week Giblets picked up two subway tokens, a ten dollar bill and a set of nuclear launch codes off the metro - but if Giblets were to be indicted it better be for a real crime. Y'know, like arson or manucide or trearson. Trearson is a combination of arson and treason in which you set the country on fire... with love.
"Perjury"? "Obstruction of justice"? Those are not real crimes! Those are crap crimes, girly crimes, the crimes that got wedgies from real crimes in gym class! Nobody counts those crimes! You get like six free perjurings and three free conspiracies to obstruct justice back where Giblets comes from, and Giblets comes from a town of manly men where the houses are made entirely of raw cow meat! Many of the townsfolk have since died of trichinosis. It is very sad. Giblets's point is: if Patrick Fitzgerald indicts Giblets for perjury, then Patrick Fitzgerald is just a big pussy. And Giblets will fight him in a duel with giant fiery swords. In ten minutes! And if Fitzgerald doesn't show then Giblets is telling everybody he's just chicken.
posted by Giblets at 5:08 PM
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