Wednesday, September 21, 2005

The usual liberal quarters have found yet another excuse to rail against the Iraq War, citing a new report from the Center for Strategic and International Studies which finds that the war radicalized the majority of Saudi militants in Iraq. How can the war continue, they ask, if it's exacerbating the problem it was meant to solve?

This, of course, is drastically missing the point. The Iraq invasion was never meant to eliminate terrorists. Its genius lies in a temporal flypaper strategy: by goading possible terrorists to become terrorists, it allows America to fight them in the present so that it doesn't have to fight them in the future. For in the future, terrorists will not be armed with mere roadside bombs and hijacked airplanes, but robot bombs and robot airplanes, which will be able to perform millions more explosions per second than the clunky, outdated terrorists of today.

Faced with the hellish prospect of an endless war against Sunni insurgoclones, or the insurmountable task of hunting down a legion of OsamaTrons, is it any wonder that the president worked so hard to encourage terrorist recruitment today rather than face the techno-terrorist onslaught of tomorrow? Indeed, America should do more to antagonize potential enemies, as the best chance for victory against any of them is to defeat them now in the ultimate preemptive strike before they can grow stronger later. The Medium Lobster suggests that America embark on a campaign to systematically alienate the world by discarding international treaties and agreements, broadly violating widely-held tenets of international law, encouraging its military to violate the most basic human rights of its prisoners, and appointing deranged nihilists to positions of authority in the United Nations. Too radical to actually achieve? Perhaps. But the Medium Lobster can always hope - and hope is all we have for the future.
posted by the Medium Lobster at 6:22 PM




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