Wednesday, August 3, 2005

Chris is sick! Can Emergency Medical Fafblog save the day in time?

"Amputation!" says Giblets grabbin the emergency medical spork. "The arm has to go!"
"Amputation's too risky, we still have the Herbal Treatment!" says me hittin Chris with the pineapple.
"The pineapple is powerless!" says Giblets. "And the arm totally has to go, it keeps hittin me when I try to amputate it!"
"Don't underestimate the pineapple, it symbolizes stuff of great spiritual symbolism!" says me. "Like other pineapples."
"It's spreading, it's spreading!" says Giblets. "Look, there are two arms now - and legs, too! Oh the humanity."
"There's still a chance, pass me the ham!" says me. I start ladling on the honey marinade, there's still a chance for last-minute deliciousness.
"It's too late, we'll never remove the torso in time!" says Giblets. "Get the torches, it is time for the Viking funeral!"
"Now Chris don't you start up about the torches," says me. "It's what you woulda wanted."
"Finally he will have a warrior's death!" says Giblets. "Which will allow him to cleverly sneak into warrior heaven."
"Last time we tried the Viking funeral we couldn't find torches, so we hadda use the hibachi," says me.
"The Viking went to barbecue heaven, where he was eaten over the weekend and thrown out with a sack a grilled corn cobs," says Giblets.
"But he died the death a warrior corn, fightin all the way," says me.
"And his soul was processed into the highest-fructose corn syrup the gods of Valhalla allow," says Giblets. "And then sold to a number of major soft drink distrubutors."
"He still haunts the remains a Coke cans everywhere," says me. "They say on a windy winter night if you listen real close you can hear him howlin for vengeance over a bottle a Sprite."
"A refreshing bottle of Sprite," says Giblets. "Just the thing we need after a hard day's work at Emergency Medical Fafblog!"
"Weeeeeeooooooeeeeeeeooooooo!" says the pineapple. "Weeeeeeooooooeeeeeoooo!"

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posted by fafnir at 1:20 PM




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