Monday, August 22, 2005

More an more people keep talkin about gettin outta Iraq, but the president wants to stay the course. Well here at Fafblog we believe in compromise. Why not keep the occupation AND get outta the country at the same time!

camouflageTHE TROOPS
The problem isn't REALLY that we got a over a hundred thousand troops in Iraq and Iraqis don't want em there. It's that we got over a hundred thousand troops in Iraq and Iraqis just happen to notice em! The compromise: keep our army in Iraq, but cleverly disguised as idle French tourists vacationing in the cool mesopotamian summertime. Sure some Iraqis might ask some questions, like "Where did all the American troops go" an "Where'd these French guys come from." "Sacre bleu, vive la france," our army would say in its striped shirts an berets, wavin a croissant in the air with disaffected charm. They do not understand, they are just on holiday! We'd have ta change costumes every coupla days so the Iraqis don't catch on. Like one week they could be disguised as bullfighters or cowboys or sexy nurses. The week after that they could be colorful potted plants. Who's that launchin an air raid on neighboring Iran? Why that's not the United States military - that's just lovable comic legend Groucho Marx pullin another one a his screwball stunts!

THE BASES
Should we keep permanent bases in Iraq or should we leave the area completely? Why not do both! The compromise: keep our permanent bases, but put up great big pieces a cardboard around em with paintings of permanent bases on em. Then paint signs on the paintings of the permanent bases that say "Ceci n'est pas une permanent base." That way when Iraqis wander by they'll just take our militarization of their country as a whimsical statement on the elusive nature of representation.

THE WORLD
So far it's all goin great, but what about the rest a the world? What if they keep on naggin us about "What's goin on in Iraq" an "Aren't you still in Iraq" an "Whatever happened to Iraq?" The compromise: Throw a big tarp over Iraq! If the world starts gettin suspicious America can always distract it with its lively jugglin skills.

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posted by fafnir at 8:43 AM




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