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Tuesday, July 26, 2005
So I'm applyin for a job at the White House but some a the questions on the application are pretty confusin. I was hopin maybe you guys could help me figure em out.
___________________________________ Have you ever committed a felony? __Yes __No If yes, what kind of felony? __Little white felony __Itsy bitsy teensy treason __"Fair game" Have you ever committed, authorized, or encouraged the commission of an atrocity? __Yes __No If yes, what kind of atrocity? __Torture with rice pilaf __Summary execution with cobb salad __Unjustified invasion and occupation with mushroom quiche If no, how should atrocities like that be punished? __Check minus __No nickname for a week __Cabinet appointment Why do you want to work at the White House? (check all that apply) __Lobbyist connections __Oil industry connections __Job security __Heritage Foundation/Inertia __Viceroyalty of choice in New SyrRanian Freedomstan __Get to finally wipe out that bastard whooping crane __Chance to vigorously rub the president's head to pick up second-hand, static-charge omnipotence ESSAY PORTION: 1. What qualities and characteristics do you think make the ideal White House employee? Answer using no more than six letters, a hand gesture, and the doodling space in the margins. 2. When is it appropriate to fire a White House employee? (Note: trick question.) Political party: __George W. Bush __Other (please explain)
posted by fafnir at 6:17 PM
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