Tuesday, July 26, 2005
So I'm applyin for a job at the White House but some a the questions on the application are pretty confusin. I was hopin maybe you guys could help me figure em out.
Have you ever committed a felony?
If yes, what kind of felony?
__Little white felony __Itsy bitsy teensy treason __"Fair game"
Have you ever committed, authorized, or encouraged the commission of an atrocity?
If yes, what kind of atrocity?
__Torture with rice pilaf __Summary execution with cobb salad
__Unjustified invasion and occupation with mushroom quiche
If no, how should atrocities like that be punished?
__Check minus __No nickname for a week __Cabinet appointment
Why do you want to work at the White House? (check all that apply)
__Lobbyist connections __Oil industry connections
__Job security __Heritage Foundation/Inertia
__Viceroyalty of choice in New SyrRanian Freedomstan
__Get to finally wipe out that bastard whooping crane
__Chance to vigorously rub the president's head to pick up second-hand, static-charge omnipotence
1. What qualities and characteristics do you think make the ideal White House employee? Answer using no more than six letters, a hand gesture, and the doodling space in the margins.
2. When is it appropriate to fire a White House employee? (Note: trick question.)
__George W. Bush __Other (please explain)
posted by fafnir at 6:17 PM