Tuesday, June 7, 2005

At long last, the forces of justice have finally defeated the forces of tumor-wracked sick people. The Supreme Court has wisely ruled that Congress's ability to defend against the pernicious terrors of marijuana overrides California's meager capacity to make its own laws, and that the matter of a dying woman's health care is a personal decision between herself, her doctor, the Justice Department, the Supreme Court, and the United States Congress.

All is as it should be: marijuana, after all, is a Drug. It is the undying dread, the nameless horror, the Leaf That Does Not Die, and we, the guardians of respectable civilization - who are at war, the Medium Lobster will remind you, to defend its very existence from chaos - cannot allow it to be used to comfort agonized women in their dying years. As Justice Stevens reminds us, even medical marijuana may be abused by unscrupulous physicians who prescribe it recklessly or for the sake of profit - unlike harmless prescription drugs like Viagra, Accutane, and Oxycontin.

We must be compassionate in our justice, however: in a sense, these pot-debauched cancer- and AIDS-patients are victims, too... victims of the state of California. For nine long years, California law has pushed pot on its weakest citizens, making addicts out of invalids. The true crime here is that it took so long for the high court to let the Justice Department bust up their shady little operation.

Indeed, why should the courts even have to come into it at all? Congress determines the law in California, Rhode Island, and everywhere else. Instead of simply having the Supreme Court defer to Congress, let Congress and the President veto any state law they feel like. Get governors on the phone with Tom DeLay and Bill Frist to ask what bills they should push for. Down with the middleman!
posted by the Medium Lobster at 3:23 PM



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