Tuesday, April 5, 2005
"You lied to Giblets!" says Giblets. "You said they were just takin the Pope out to the country to live on a nice farm!"
"Don't think of the Pope as bein dead, Giblets," says me. "Think of him as a flower, or a butterfly, or a mime doin a really convincin impersonation of a dead pope."
"Where will Giblets be without his Pope?" says Giblets. "Whose pope hat will I steal? Whose Vatican will I deface? This morning Giblets hijacked the popemobile for ol times sake - and it filled my soul with nought but empty dross!"
"Hey I know what'll cheer you up," says me. "How bout we play a game! A game called Talkin Bout Somethin That's Not The Pope."
"sniff. Okay," says Giblets.
"So, today I was at the zoo, see," says me. "An they had all these fish."
"Fish like the Pope used to have!" says Giblets. "Oh, how Giblets misses his Pope!"
"The Pope didn't have any fish," says me.
"Sure he did," says Giblets. "He had the Holy Mackerel and the Monkey Eel of St. Peter. They will be destroyed upon his successor's election."
"That's a terrible thing to do to good fish," says me.
"It is all part of the mysterious cycle of Popes," says Giblets.
"I'll tell you what Giblets," says me. "We'll go down to the conclave tomorrow an pick you up a brand new Pope an you'll like him even better."
"Giblets doesn't wanna new Pope!" says Giblets. "Giblets wants his old Pope!"
"You should give the new Pope a chance Giblets," says me. "You can still do everything with the new Pope you did with the old one: fight him, make death threats. You can even start up a new Pope Death Watch!"
"Hey, you're right!" says Giblets. "The Pope before the last Pope kicked the bucket in a little over a month! This next one might only take a week!"
"See, there's the spirit!" says me.
"I'd better get started right away!" says Giblets. "This new Pope isn't slippin past Giblets! When mortality finally squeezes the last dregs of life from his limp and doddering veins, Giblets will be there to seize the Supreme Popepower for himself! And then Giblets will be unstoppable!"
"There you go!" says me.
"Giblets feels better already!" says Giblets. "To the papabile! Giblets has the fat and decrepit to taunt!"
And we are once again filled with the purpose of the spirit.
posted by fafnir at 8:12 AM