Monday, April 18, 2005

There have been four votes so far and none have elected Giblets! How is this possible? Why is there even voting here at all! There is no democracy in Gibletism – there is only the power of Giblets and those who must yield before its mightiness! But apparently there are these other cardinals out there Giblets has to deal with.

Oscar Andres Rodriguez Maradiaga – A liar and the father of lies! He came up to Giblets with a slip of paper, telling me it was a vote for “who wants ice cream.” Well it was pretty stuffy in there, and Giblets is always up for ice cream, so Giblets marked it down. Only it was not a vote for ice cream at all… it was a vote for Maradiaga! Giblets has been cheated! Revenge is a dish best served cold, Maradiaga… it is very cold in ice cream…

Dionigi Tettamanzi – Fat and slow-moving like the hated sea cow, he is easily driven off with a few dull whacks to the snout. No threat to Giblets!

Joseph Ratzinger – Giblets’s greatest challenge and most worthy opponent! In addition to the loyal block of vampire votes he controls with his undead powers, Ratzinger still wields the deadly Spear of Destiny he recovered in World War II. He will not yield to Giblets easily – which will make it all the sweeter when Giblets crushes him and seizes his Nazi gold!

Nnn’ga 7 – The Martian cardinal, who only uses his superior technology and telepathic superbrain for the spreading of peace and enlightenment between all creatures. A hopeless weakling! Giblets spent an hour just knockin' 'im over while he was walkin’ back and forth carrying a big stack of Bibles; all the princes of the church pointed and laughed! That easily picked me up an extra twenty votes.


posted by Giblets at 6:22 PM



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