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Monday, March 14, 2005
Giblets feels for China right now. Giblets is also the legitimate ruler of a country which does not recognize his sovereignty: the United States. Also Canada, Mexico, the UK, France, Germany, Russia, Brazil, the Czech Republic, the Dominican Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, Poland, Mongolia, Tibet, Belgium, the Netherlands, Norway, Ukraine, Georgia, Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Peru, Colombia, the Vatican, Belize, Burkina Faso, Chad, Somalia, Gambia, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Malawi, Panama, the Marshall Islands, the Solomon Islands, Palau, Swaziland, China, Taiwan, Leprechonia, and the Moon – oh, the insolence of the Moon!
These breakaway provinces and possibly some others Giblets has momentarily forgotten are in a state of rebellion against Giblets which cannot be tolerated! Thus Giblets has passed the Anti-Secession Law of the People’s Republic of Gibletsia, which authorizes Giblets to use military force on those nations who will not re-unify peacefully with him. Giblets stands ready to deploy the army of Gibletsia – last estimated at around 6.5 billion – to retake what is his. Giblets also chooses to reveal at this time that he is married to numerous wives and mistresses including any number of ex-girlfriends, supermodels, mythological entities, and that hot chick Giblets saw on the subway last week, all of whom have inexplicably separated themselves from Giblets. If they do not remarry Giblets peacefully, Giblets is prepared to authorize himself to club them over the head and drag them back to his cave.
posted by Giblets at 11:32 AM
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