Friday, March 25, 2005

It's good to know that even in these dark times, when California and New York City are preparing to join Massachusetts in caving to the forces of Big Gay, that some are still standing up for the forces of Western Civilization, protecting and serving humanity by constantly asking the question, "What basic rights can we strip from gay Americans today?"

Today's ray of hope comes to us from the Alabama Legislature, which is considering a proposal to ban gay adoptions in the state. As Mac Thomason points out, adoption of children by gay couples is already prohibited by Alabama's existing marriage ban, but this measure will helpfully crush those last few single stragglers thinking of raising a child.

Some may spend some misguided sympathy on the plight of a would-be gay parent, but only after forgetting the true victims of gay adoption: the adopted children, taken away from the comfort of an orphanage or an endless succession of foster homes to be raised by a gay parent - a malicious influence set on assimilating all within its reach into the vast phalanx of the Gay.

As all truly informed gayologists know, the Gay convert others to their massive, hive-like collective by implanting the young with gay nanobots, which reproduce and take over the brains of the young, inevitably transforming right, proper, heterosexual brains into diseased Gay brains, infested with bacterial bath houses and camp subcultures. With this fearsome dedication to assimilating all that is right and normal, no child can be left in the care of the Gay be any just society. (From this we can conclude that gays inevitably raise and recruit gay childen, and that gay children are raised and recuited by gays. To Dick Cheney and Alan Keyes: you are fooling no one.)

But is prohibiting gay adoptees enough? What about gay uncles, gay aunts, gay neighbors, gay friends? How can humanity protect its children from the Gay Menace when children may still be unwittingly exposed to gay people on any streetcorner? Only by either wrapping all children across the world in enormous layers of thick, gayproof padding, blinding them from contact with non-straights until the age of thirty, or by rounding up all gays everywhere and placing them in specialized degayification camps. As one of these options is patently absurd, the only sane response is self-evident.
posted by the Medium Lobster at 8:40 AM



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