Friday, February 25, 2005

I’ve been holdin out on this for a while now but I feel I gotta respond to a number a recent allegations made by vocal commentator an box resident Ol Man Crazy. Mr. Crazy has made a lotta unsubstantiated claims about me lately an I asked him privately to retract em but he just throws a buncha ol soup cans at me instead.

First of all I have to strongly disagree with Mr. Crazy’s thesis that I helped Harry Truman an the moon men plant a homin device in his brain. For starters I have never met President Truman who died in 1972 about a decade or so before I was born nor is there any conclusive evidence to suggest that Mr. Truman ever had contact with moon men or any moon technology. If Ol Man Crazy had done his research he would have known this but instead he goes on with this unfounded an irresponsible speculation.

Also I have to contest Mr. Crazy’s claim that I am the Mean Mad Marmalade Man come to steal his marmalade. I’m not familiar with a Mr. Marmalade Man or his attempts to harass Ol Man Crazy but as a member of the neighborhood watch group I certainly would like to help Mr. Crazy out with his situation. I would certainly never try to steal his marmalade. I didn’t even know Mr. Crazy owned or made a brand a marmalade but if I wanted some you can bet I would buy some from him at a reasonable price.

And even though I didn’t want it to have to come to this I feel like I have to point out that Mr. Crazy has been misrepresentin himself. There’s no evidence at all to suggest he is the Grand Duchess of Pillsbury or in fact a duchess of any kind. Nor is his travelin companion Monsignor Cat an actual cat or a Roman Catholic ecclesiastical officer for that matter but instead appears to be a shoppin cart fulla duct tape. I wouldn’t go as far as to call this fraud or anythin but I feel like Mr. Crazy’s public has a right to know.

Anyway I believe Mr. Crazy owes me an his listeners an apology.
posted by fafnir at 12:17 PM



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