Thursday, February 10, 2005

Once a week the mailman drops off a dead kitten at our house. I'm not sure why. We just keep gettin these kittens. I think I signed somethin down at the mall once, maybe a Kitten of the Week Club or somethin, but I don't remember when. I sign a lotta stuff. Last time I went downtown I ended up with a Sam's Club membership, a petition to Bong the Bomb, and an ordained priesthood of Zemu. The leafletting campaigns an the Zemusian wedding ceremonies are a real pain but it's worth it to get quality beef tallow at wholesale prices.

I don't know why all the kittens are dead kittens. Maybe they haven't been shippin em right. But it seems like a shame to let em go to waste, so these days we got kittens everywhere - kitten doorstops, kitten lampshades, kitten tables, kitten soup, kitten pie, grilled kitten pizza. "More kitten, Giblets?" "Giblets is stuffed," says Giblets. "Giblets couldn't eat another kitten if he wanted to - and he wants to! They are delicious!" Which is too bad, cause we got a ton of em left.
posted by fafnir at 5:27 PM



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