Tuesday, January 11, 2005

It's been almost two years since we liberated Iraq and all Giblets hears from these new free Iraqis is complaints. Whine, whine, whine, nag, nag, nag, bombing, bombing, bombing! Oh, we have no electricity! Oh, we have no potable water! Oh, our relatives are being raped and tortured and killed! To think that this is all the thanks Giblets gets after working and slaving over a hot military-industrial complex to bury your infrastructure!

Well, Giblets "dares to discipline." Even the most unruly and ungrateful young colony can be knocked back into shape with a little tough love. The love of a good death squad.

After months of pussyfooting around with indefinite detentions, beatings and sexual humiliation, the US military is considering starting up "Special Forces-led assassination or kidnapping squads" in Iraq, and it's about damn time. As one military source told Newsweek, "The Sunni population is paying no price for the support it is giving to the terrorists. From their point of view, it is cost-free. We have to change that equation."

Very true. Right now the only price Iraqis are paying is a wasted infrastructure, a looming civil war, and a civilian death toll of at least fifteen thousand bodies. If they're gonna cry over that spilled milk, then let's give 'em something to really cry about! Giblets bets they'll be just begging to go back to chemically-burnt genitalia once they've had a couple weeks of roving death squads killing their friends and relatives!

The same old liberal pansies are gonna say "oh but I do not like killing lots of people because I am a great big girl." But if we don't go slaughtering Sunnis en masse in an organized terror campaign, how will they ever learn to respect their boundaries, obey their elders, and become a stable pro-Western democracy? This is the same lesson America learned from George Washington when he ended the Whiskey Rebellion by crucifying half the state of Pennsylvania on his front lawn.

So don't spare the rod, military! Years from now, when it is all grown up, Iraq will thank us for our loving disciplinarian approach. Just ask Nicaragua and Iran!
posted by Giblets at 10:17 AM




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