Thursday, January 6, 2005

So Giblets is sitting down in front of the library TV with a box of commandeered Cheezoids to enjoy the intellectual repaste that is CNN's Crossfire when he sees a news item telling him that soon there will BE no Crossfire! Outrage, perfidy, treason! What will replace it? Coverage of actual news? Can you even CALL it "news" without whack-a-mole sound effects, cartoonish repetition of talking points and a prompted studio audience? Delirium, lunacy, madness!

Oh sure, maybe if CNN does more reporting and less commenting it will "inform the public" more. But what does informing the public have to do with journalism? Tucker Carlson is a "great journalist" and he's spent the last five years making dingle bell noises at Paul Begala. But he did it with a trademark smarm and overpowering obnoxiousness that left Giblets coming back for more!

Journalism isn't supposed to tell Giblets what's going on. It's supposed to entertain him! So Crossfire had crap ratings. That's nothing a little back-to-basics reporter gumption can't fix! Change the format a little - a mud pit instead of a desk, Begala and Novak rolling on the ground in speedos, James Carville oiled and naked wrestling a greased pig! Now THAT'S the Fourth Estate!

But CNN has forfeited its journalistic integrity and thus its hold upon Giblets! His eyes are now only fit for serious news shows now such as Fox News, Hardball, Scarborough Country, and Girls Gone Wild: America Uncovered. Animus, umbrage, fie!
posted by Giblets at 4:02 PM



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