Saturday, December 18, 2004

There's only six more shopping days till Christmas an you know what that means! It means you still have shopping left to do for your second-tier relatives, like Uncle Shmopey, an your uglier niece, an that ol guy in the back with the hook hand who's always goin on about how he got his hook hand that everybody always tries to avoid cause a his hook hand. But Christmas is expensive an while you have so much love to give at this point your love is gonna have to be considerably more value-priced.

That's why Fafblog's here with this handy shopping guide with ten sure-fire items to show the love and appreciation for your bargain bin loved ones!

  • Cheap books! Your local grocery aisle contains many overlooked paperback items such as Glands of Passion and A Night in Palau. Reading expands the mind!
  • Toenail clippers! Be practical this holiday season. A lotta people have nail clippers but how many people don't have toenail clippers? And how many people used to have toenail clippers but had em confiscated by the good people at the Transportation Security Administration to prevent them from violently stabbin a flight attendant? Your loved ones will appreciate your thoughtfulness.
  • Bagels! Bagels are delicious. Why not give the gift of deliciousness for Christmas? It sends the perfect message for family, friends, or that special someone: that they are pasty and doughy and go great with cream cheese. You could throw in some lox, but that'd probably put you over ten dollars. If you are using this list for a wedding anniversery, a bagel can double for a ring! Just slip it on a finger and go!
  • A TV Guide! Who doesn't wanna know when John Larroquette's guest-starring in Law & Order this week? Also a cover feature on Matt LeBlanc's Joey!
  • String! There's so much you can do with string! Like tie stuff together, or put it on stuff, or leave it in your pocket so when you're pullin stuff out you can go "hey wait do I have somethin in my pocket oh wait no it's just string."
  • There's nothin else we could come up with under ten dollars. This is pretty much it.
  • posted by fafnir at 6:54 PM




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