Saturday, December 4, 2004
"Lightning crashes and thunder rolls and fire falls from the heavens and cows give birth to donkeys giving birth to elephants giving birth to three-headed Heidelberg men and it is all Giblets's now every single bit!" says Giblets.
"Could you make more monkeys?" says me. "Cause we're always runnin outta monkeys."
"Giblets could if he wanted to," says Giblets. "But monkeys ex nihilo are not worthy of Giblets! Giblets is a fearsome and terrible Giblets behold his power BEHOOOOLD!"
"I dunno," says me. "Guess you're PRETTY fearsome."
"Giblets has a thunderbolt," says Giblets. "Giblets wrested it from the gods and Giblets can use it to pierce the very firmament and bring the fire of heaven upon mortal men!"
"I got a yo-yo," says me. "I found it in one a the ol closets in the back an I can use it to do a shoot-the-moon!"
"Really?" says Giblets.
"Yeah it's pretty easy," says me. "What you do see is you get it spinnin like so."
"Fie upon yo-yos they are not worthy of Giblets!" says Giblets. "Bring unto Giblets the dazzling dancing lights of the celestial empyrean!"
The lights a the celestial empyrean dance around a bit. "Shiny!" says me.
"See that?" says Giblets. "Those guys don't do that for just anybody who eats the gods."
"The yo-yo glows in the dark," says me.
"Ooo! Lemme see!" says Giblets.
"You can make your own yo-yo yknow," says me.
"Giblets needs no insolent yo-yo!" says Giblets wavin the thunderbolt. "Giblets has the power of will and the will of power! An he's gonna make some thunder with it!"
Giblets makes thunder for a while. "Very sparkly!" says me. "Mmmm," says Giblets. I walk the dog.
"Giblets is bored!" says Giblets.
"You should get a hobby," says me. "Like knittin or croquet."
"Those hobbies are lame!" says Giblets. "Giblets needs to devour more stuff and bigger stuff! Like a mountain or a real big boat or supergods!"
"Supergods are too starchy for you," says me. "You'll fill right up after the first couple. Besides eatin that many gods in one day is bad for you, you'll get a stomachache."
"But Giblets craves more!" says Giblets. "What's the point a havin god-power if you can't use it to get bigger an better god-power!"
"You could use it grow grass an keep planets in motion an stuff like that," says me.
"Stupid! That sounds like work!" says Giblets.
"You could use it to make other gods," says me. "Like a god for midgets! I bet midgets could use a god cause yknow it's tough bein a midget."
"Midgets have it easy!" says Giblets. "They control Hollywood!"
"That's true," says me. "Midgets can get any job they want on TV playin other midgets."
"Nuts to this!" says Giblets tossin his thunderbolt. "Giblets is tired and his stomach aches and he's going home!"
"I'm keepin the yo-yo," says me.
Coupla weeks later we run outta monkeys an we feel real bad about everything.
Labels: true adventures
posted by fafnir at 10:01 AM