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Friday, December 10, 2004
The other day Giblets was putting up a simple Gibmas display in his town square like he does every year when a bunch of whiney whiners showed up to whine. “Oh why are you imposing your religious Gibletsness on us” and “oh where are we going to put our Christmas and Channukah decorations” and “oh why are you forcing our children to polish that sixty foot tall bronze statue of Giblets.” And all this after Giblets scaled the statue down from the two hundred foot model!
Nobody cares about the true meaning of Gibmas anymore, and do you know why? Because of a lack of spiritual dedication. A lack of spiritual dedication to Giblets. Gibmas used to be a time for Americans to put aside worldly concerns and remember what really mattered to them: their wills being crushed beneath the dictatorial whims of Giblets! But now it’s all about commercialism and materialism and loving your family. Well where is the love for Giblets? And the fear for Giblets? And the money and presents and food for Giblets? It is all part of the decline and decay of our modern culture. These days our country has fallen so far from its original Judeo-Christo-Gibletsian values Giblets does not even recognize it. Forced Giblets-worship is forbidden in public schools. The One Commandment ("Bow Before Giblets!") is not allowed in courtrooms, much less the Other Commandments ("Dance For Giblets!", "Juggle Things For Giblets!", "Do Giblets's Laundry!", "Tell Giblets a Story!" and "Hug Giblets, He Is Scared And Lonely"). Why in some places it is not even legal to be enslaved to Giblets anymore. Giblets has been chased from the public sphere, and Gibmas has become just another day where you flog your children with candy canes before eating expensive electronics. Well Giblets is tired of this commercialized holiday! He’s tired of people who don’t know what Gibmas is all about! Is there anybody here who can tell me what Gibmas is all about?
posted by Giblets at 2:39 PM
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