Thursday, November 11, 2004

Y'know, when Giblets heard that John Ashcroft was resigning, he was despondent. Who would cover Lady Justice's boobs, protecting America from the rising tide of statue promiscuity? Who would aggressively deport non-suspect Arabs, protecting America from the gathering threat of international brown people? Who would relentlessly whore out the classification system to cover up his government's screw-ups, protecting America from protection? And do it all with such impish charm, to boot!

Well, Alberto Gonzales is no John Ashcroft, but Giblets gives him points for moxie. He wrote off the Geneva Convention Against Torture as "quaint," and claimed that the president has the inherent power to suspend treaties duly ratified by Congress. Take that, due process of law! Plus, he worked his way up from a poor childhood to become one of the most powerful enablers of our increasingly militaristic, expansionist, statist executive branch! It's like a Horatio Alger story, but with more fascism!

We will miss you, John Ashcroft. But Giblets will not cry - a new eagle soars on in your place!
posted by Giblets at 10:45 AM



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